My First Endo Appointment of 2020

My first endocrinologist appointment of the year is coming up next week and it’s got me feeling allllllll sorts of emotions…

Anxiety. This tops the list because, well, I haven’t been to a medical office since the coronavirus outbreak started. My doctors have either asked me to reschedule my appointments, or I’ve been able to see them virtually. I know that my endocrinologist’s practice has many protocols in place now to make the experience as sanitary and safe as possible, but it still does put me on edge.

Fear. I’m afraid of what my A1c will be. Yup, I’m actually scared to know this reading that should, in reality, help me manage my diabetes better. I know, I know – the A1c is just one way to measure how well I’m taking care of my diabetes, the one number isn’t a total reflection of my “success”. But I can’t help but be worried that I’ll be disappointed by my results, even though I know I’ve tried my best in the last few months to achieve one that makes me happy.

Beige and Gray Minimalist Quote Instagram Post
Who would’ve thought that a simple follow-up with my endocrinologist would evoke so many emotions?

Skepticism. The last time I saw my endocrinologist was just a couple days after Christmas…and it was my first meeting with her. It was her suggestion that I return in six months as opposed to the usual three, which I thought was a little weird, but I just went with it. However, I’m now wondering if this was the right call, because how on earth is she even going to remember more than six months later? I’m concerned that we’ll spend most of our time catching up on things that I didn’t want to discuss during this important follow-up, but I’m cautiously optimistic that it will go better than I’m currently expecting it to go.

Curiosity. I’m HELLA curious as to what my doctor will say about my diabetes management in the last six months. Will she tell me that I’m doing a good job? Will she scold me? Will she take the time to review my latest lab results? Will she help to address my needs so that the next time I see her, I’ll have less trepidation over our visit? I’m very eager to find out the answers to those questions.

Listlessness. Perhaps the most unusual feeling I’ve had about this appointment is…lack of interest in it. I’m nervous about physically getting out of the house to go to it, and I’m wondering about the outcome of it, but the mere thought of going right now just isn’t sparking much of anything within me. I haven’t really thought about the questions I might ask her during the appointment; instead, the only thing I’m truly focused on is the logistics of getting there and actually sitting in the appointment. Otherwise, I’m just feeling a little tired when I think about it, like I’ve already gone and it’s drained me of my energy. This could be due to some burnout that I suspect I’m contending with at the moment, but for now, all I know is that unless I leave the appointment feeling positive in some fashion, then this whole “six month follow-up” thing just might not cut it for me and my own diabetes care and management routine.

3 thoughts on “My First Endo Appointment of 2020

  1. I can understand your concerns about your first in-person visit this year, especially with it being your second appt. with your new doctor. Hopefully you can request to be seen by her every three months, as you as the patient should be calling those shots based on your 22 years living with T1D! I started seeing an outside CDE every two weeks to help balance my diet, overall numbers and exercise, as the once every three month thing just wasn’t doing it for me. And I’ve been with my group for a while! Anyway, my A1C came down by nearly two full points from the end of Feb. to the beginning of June because I’m working out and running more than once daily. It’s been my lowest reading since 2011. I’m fairly certain your A1C will be just fine based on your extensive diet and exercise routines! Here’s hoping for a stress free environment when you go see her, all the best! Keep up the great work on the blog!

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    • Wow, that’s an awesome accomplishment – well done, Kevin! Thank you for your well wishes. I’ll definitely write a post-appointment post summarizing how it went. 🙂

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  2. No way would I ever do every six months. If I did, I might never go back. I need the 3 month feedback. it is my way to be absolutely accountable. A man needs his periodic demand to be held accountable.

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