Break ups…they’re hard not to take personally. Especially when they aren’t done in person, face-to-face.
Phone calls are worse. But letters are the worst. Breaking up with anyone by sending them a letter in the mail removes all emotion from the equation. But I suppose there was no other way for my endocrinologist to end our doctor-patient relationship than via a vague, impersonal letter that wasn’t delivered just to me, but all of her patients.
That’s right…my endocrinologist broke up with all of us and informed us in a letter that she was leaving her (well, OUR) endocrinology office.
She’s officially gone from the practice that I’ve been going to for nearly half of my life now, and I’m not going to lie, her abrupt departure shook me a bit. It’s not that I’m going to miss this doctor – I was never a huge fan of her bedside manner or approach to my concerns with my diabetes care. It’s more so that I’ll miss the convenience of traveling to this particular clinic, as well as the familiarity I have with all of their processes.
And it’s even more so that this situation is forcing me to face something I’ve been in serious denial about for quite some time: I need to prioritize finding a new endocrinologist that actually understands my wants and needs, and break out of the cycle of complacency that I’ve been stuck in all my adulthood.
It’s a daunting prospect and a reality that I’ve been trying to accept as I’ve gotten older and as my needs have changed, but real talk? Shopping around for a new doctor is exhausting. It’s just as bad, if not worse, than dating. You read about a person online, get your hopes up that they’ll be a perfect match, make plans to pencil them into your schedule, and then when you finally meet them…you’re disappointed. Wash, rinse, and repeat until you make a genuine connection with someone. Only the stakes feel higher in this situation because a doctor plays an integral role in your overall health and well-being.
So while it’s far from fun to find myself on the search for a new diabetes provider, I can still find a silver lining in the scenario. And that’s the belief and optimism that there is a doctor out there who will become a reliable and supportive player on my diabetes care team. I will find someone who is not located too far away, and who is kind, caring, compassionate, and knowledgeable when it comes to all things diabetes.
I’ve just got to have faith – and a little patience as I pour time and energy into the process.