It was around 4 o’clock in the morning. Rain was pounding relentlessly outside my window. The power must’ve gone out, because flickering lights and the sudden sound of my heat turning back on woke me up with a start.
I tried to let the sound of the falling rain lull me back to sleep, but it was loud. I tossed and turned, doing my best to resist the temptation to check my phone and mindlessly scroll through various feeds until I felt sleepy again, but before long I gave in. As I almost always do every time I unlock my phone, I tapped on the Dexcom app so I could see what was going on with my blood sugar.
At that present moment, I was 92 and steady, but what my graph indicated to me in the previous couple of hours made me audibly gasp.
I had fallen to below 55 at some point in the middle of the night, and stayed in fairly low territory for nearly two full hours before making the slow climb back up.
That’s when it came surging back to me: The memory of waking up, some hours before, to the sound of an urgent low alarm. And then me totally ignoring it in favor of sleep.
The realization hit me as hard as the rain was striking against my rooftop, and then the tears welled in my eyes. I lay there, crying quietly, as I tried to accept the reality that choosing sleep over fixing my low blood sugar could’ve been an extreme error on my part. What if the rain and the power outage hadn’t woken me up? I recognized that given my current blood sugar graph, I would’ve been just fine, but regardless I had still slept through a low and that frightened me – I’m not sure if I’ve ever done that before. Just as I was beginning to really freak out, I felt a rush of gratitude toward my Omnipod 5. After all, it had seemingly detected the low blood sugar and then lessened my basal rate (or perhaps completely stopped delivering any basal insulin altogether) in order to bring my blood sugar back up. I felt as though the system had possibly just saved my life.
So I couldn’t help but lay there and let the tears fall, marveling at the technology that I felt indebted to at this particular moment in time, before I found myself drifting off into a dreamless sleep again.
One thought on “The Last Time I Cried About My Diabetes”
Much like the last time I cried about D, In my case it was also a low Mine was in the morning and I felt so frustrated. Thankfully Sheryl understood, but she still laughed at me the next morning. We like laughing
That is the best.
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