Why Waiting for Prescription Refills Feels Like a Pending Punishment

I’ve been waiting.

I’m waiting, impatiently, to learn just how much I’m going to have to pay for a 90 day supply of insulin.

I’ve been waiting for what will inevitably feel like a punishment.


It’ll feel like a punishment because it will feel harsh and unavoidable. And it’ll be more intense than is fair because my only offense is having a pancreas that doesn’t work the way that it should.

Every time I log into the Express Scripts website, I feel a sense of dread sweep my body. I anxiously click around the portal until I get to the recent order screen (see above image). My eyes immediately flock to the blue box that will eventually display how much money I owe for my insulin.

It’s a process that reminds me of checking my grades when I was in college: After I took an exam, I’d enter my username and password into the student portal to find out whether grades were posted. I’d repeat this process multiple times a day until I found out how I scored. It was a nerve-wracking routine back then, but I wish I could tell my younger self that that was NOTHING compared to looking up the cost of my insulin.


One thought on “Why Waiting for Prescription Refills Feels Like a Pending Punishment

  1. The issue I always hated was having to get insulin sooner due to an illness that increased the amount I needed to maintain control. Infections have always pushed my sugar levels up meaning more insulin to bring it back down. The insurance company always wanted a number or units per day I used to figure how long each bottle would last. What if one breaks? What if you get sick? Not their problem seems to the answer to that question. More than once Pharmacist had to re submit later to get me insulin I needed. Then to get back on track I had to ration. Always get a kick out of people who say they are against single payer health system because they don’t want the government to have control over their health care. We have that now but it is the insurance companies in control not the government. Had prescriptions changed several times due to “contract issues” with manufactures. Doctors prescriptions are substituted or cut back by insurance companies already.


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