I’ve been waiting.
I’m waiting, impatiently, to learn just how much I’m going to have to pay for a 90 day supply of insulin.
I’ve been waiting for what will inevitably feel like a punishment.
It’ll feel like a punishment because it will feel harsh and unavoidable. And it’ll be more intense than is fair because my only offense is having a pancreas that doesn’t work the way that it should.
Every time I log into the Express Scripts website, I feel a sense of dread sweep my body. I anxiously click around the portal until I get to the recent order screen (see above image). My eyes immediately flock to the blue box that will eventually display how much money I owe for my insulin.
It’s a process that reminds me of checking my grades when I was in college: After I took an exam, I’d enter my username and password into the student portal to find out whether grades were posted. I’d repeat this process multiple times a day until I found out how I scored. It was a nerve-wracking routine back then, but I wish I could tell my younger self that that was NOTHING compared to looking up the cost of my insulin.