Starting Off on the Wrong Foot

“How are you today, ma’am?” The man behind the Dunkin’ Donuts counter smiled and looked at me expectantly, as I started back at him blankly.

I wasn’t sure how to answer. My mental state wasn’t great, that was for sure. I’d just come from a visit to a walk-in clinic, where I’d had X-rays of my foot taken to see whether or not it was fractured.

The previous 24 hours had been a bit of a whirlwind. I’d worked and gone to my first-ever kickboxing class, which was an awesome experience. I’d had dinner with my partner and started playing video games soon after as a way to unwind after the long day. That’s when pain in my foot flared up, suddenly and significantly.

Could I have injured it in the kickboxing class, without even knowing it? Was I overdoing it on exercising, in general? How and why did the pain just start up like that? Almost immediately, I plopped myself down onto the couch with an ice pack and extra cushions, hoping that I could stop the pain as quickly as it started.

No such luck. I went to bed early that night, but the pain was so severe that sleep was virtually impossible. I tossed and turned for hours, wondering what the hell was going on and coming up with a plan to get it checked out A.S.A.P.

That’s how I found myself at a walk-in clinic, a little over 12 hours after I first felt the pain. I was evaluated by a nurse practitioner who told me that “the likelihood of a fracture was low” (thank goodness) and that it was “probably tendinitis.” I was given instructions to rest, ice, and elevate my foot for the weekend, and take non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (otherwise known as NSAIDs, like Ibuprofen or Aspirin) as needed.

Hugging the cactus - a t1d blog
I’m trying to put my best foot forward as I deal with this injury.

That meant hours and hours of being sedentary.

That meant no exercise of any kind – I even had to keep walking at a minimum.

That meant my spirits were crushed.

I was glad that it wasn’t worse, and proud of myself for not waiting to seek medical treatment. But that didn’t mean I was thrilled with the outcome. Basically, I had to take the wait-and-see approach. Time will tell how long the pain lasts, and I can’t stand not knowing. I also can’t stand not being able to be active. Daily exercise is a key element to maintaining good blood sugars. Sitting around idle doesn’t do my diabetes any favors, but it’s not like I had any other choice.

I left the clinic, trying to process this information. This certainly wasn’t the way I wanted to kick off the long Memorial Day weekend. It definitely could have gotten off on a better foot. (Okay, okay, I’ll stop with the puns.) I found myself at a nearby Dunkin’ Donuts minutes later. I hobbled in, hoping that an iced coffee might lift my spirits somewhat.

I blinked, bringing myself back into the moment, and smiled wryly at the Dunkin’ cashier. “I’m okay,” I said to him. It wasn’t just a response to his question, it was also a reassurance to myself. I’m okay and I will be okay. I won’t let this get me down.

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A T1Diary of my Recent Endo Appointment

I’m trying something new here today, folks. As you can see, this blog post features not just words, but video, too. How exciting! The aforementioned video shows the before, during, and after of my most recent endocrinologist appointment. I share a touch more than I normally would in this format, and I cover something that’ll be a big subject in one of my upcoming blog posts.

Originally, I shared this video (in short clips) directly to Instagram, where it would live in my stories for 24 hours before going away. But the thought occurred to me to save and splice the video segments together to create a full video, albeit a poorly manufactured one. I’ve decided to call it my first attempt at video blogging, otherwise known as vlogging.

Fear not, my fellow wordsmiths: I still plan on writing actual blog posts. I’m not sure how regularly I’ll be vlogging. But I can promise that if people kinda dig this, then I’ll make a point to vlog semi-regularly. I can also promise that the videos will be a bit shorter and shot in one take, because 1) I don’t think anyone wants to hear/watch me blabber for more than a couple minutes and 2) it’ll help ensure that I don’t jump around from topic to topic. And for the sake of full disclosure, I’m not lovin’ my once-a-month Favorite Things Friday post as much as I used to…so this may eventually replace it. We’ll see.

So, without further ado, enjoy this little video from me…and remember that it was initially created for Instagram, which encourages users to make very short video/photo clips, and helps explain why this whole package is a bit choppy. And please do let me know, in the comments or on various social media channels (accessible in the upper-right hand menu of the Hugging the Cactus homepage), what your thoughts are on vlogging.

 

Aim for an A1c of…What?!

All my life, I’ve been told that I should do what I can to keep my A1c levels between 6 and 6.5. This is the “ideal” range, the sort of long-term goal I should bear in mind on a daily basis.

So when my primary care doctor suggested that an A1c of 7 to 8 might be a more realistic, sustainable, and healthy zone, my jaw dropped to the floor.

He explained his reasoning for saying such a thing: Since people with diabetes obviously have different needs when compared to people without diabetes, it’s not entirely logical to expect a person with diabetes to maintain an A1c that they might have with a functioning pancreas. He said that as time goes on, it could affect cognitive abilities.

And then he said that this was the range that would be recommended to a person with type 2 diabetes – there’s no new research that indicates any difference in desirable A1c levels for a person with type 1 diabetes, so, as my doctor said, I should continue to aim for 6 to 6.5.

This was such a WTF moment for me, for a couple of reasons.

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Does anyone else feel super awkward taking selfies in exam rooms? Does anyone else even take selfies in exam rooms?!

One being that I had NO IDEA why he was saying this to me. He built up this whole explanation as to what the “new recommended A1c” is, only to inform me at the very end that it was only safely applicable to people with T2D at this time. Was he confused? Did he forget that I have type one for a minute there?

The other reason I was flabbergasted by this little discussion was that we hardly ever go into detail when it comes into my diabetes. In fact, he didn’t even ask me when my last A1c test was, or any questions regarding my insulin pump/CGM. He just asked the standard “how is your diabetes” question, to which I replied with a super-lengthy, not-at-all vague response: “good”. He did put orders in for the standard array of tests that I take for each annual physical, which would inform him of my blood sugar at that moment in time, as well as my current A1c. But it was nothing that I’d be talking to him about during that appointment because the results wouldn’t be available until late in the day. So yeah, I found the whole thing to be pretty bizarre and mildly misleading.

Coincidentally, I’ll be seeing my endocrinologist in a few weeks, and let’s be real here: She’s the one doctor who can best advise me when it comes to diabetes treatments and protocols. So I’ll be sticking with her recommended A1c range for me, which I have a feeling won’t be any different from what I’ve been told all these years with diabetes.

My New Low Blood Sugar Symptom

In the last 21 years of diabetes, my low symptoms have been pretty predictable and easily recognizable: shakiness, sweating, dizziness, and sluggishness are all signs that I need some sugar, stat.

But lately, I’ve started to experience one brand-new and totally weird low blood sugar symptom. I’ve decided to dub it “fuzzy tongue”.

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“Fuzzy tongue” or “terrycloth towel tongue” is now one of my low blood sugar symptoms.

I don’t know how else to describe it other than that it feels like my tongue and lips are covered in a terrycloth towel as my blood sugar starts to fall to a certain level, usually 75 mg/dL or lower. Simultaneously, it’s a numb and tingly sensation that feels so disorienting and makes the process of chewing glucose tablets or drinking juice a little more difficult, because it feels weird to eat or drink when my entire mouth feels like it’s covered in cloth.

In fact, the first time it happened, I took to Twitter to ask the rest of the DOC if there was anyone else who had experienced something like that before. And I was comforted by the many responses I got back that assured me that I wasn’t alone in feeling this strange symptom:

“Yes, from certain lows. Sometimes I feel like my [whole] body is buzzing and fuzzy, if not fizzy. Other times, it’s like my body says, “BTDT! Got the glucose tabs! Move on!”

“YES! This is a new symptom for me too (after 17 years of treating lows)..Thought I was allergic to honey the first time.”

“This is a common one for me. Tongue and lips. I hate it”

“Sometimes I get tingly lips or tingly fingers!”

“That’s almost exclusively how I can tell that I’m low”

“YES! If it’s a prolonged low, I get tingly lips and tongue. It’s super weird and really uncomfortable.”

“I get more of the tingling/partial numbness in the lips (‘fuzziness,’ I suppose) that some have described. Usually this occurs with a bad low (under 50 mg/dL).”

Those are just a few of the replies that my initial tweet received. I found these particularly interesting, though, because one person identified it as a new symptom, too, and others implied that it’s always been an indicator of low blood sugar that’s more likely to occur with “bad” lows. In addition to helping me feel a bit more normal about the discovery of my new low symptom, I also found this to be an example of the ways in which the DOC is uniquely unified. To an outsider, this whole Twitter thread probably makes zero sense and comes across as bizarre. But to someone part of the DOC, it’s just another conversation that brings T1Ds trying to get to the bottom of a ‘betes mystery together.

So even though “fuzzy tongue” is uncomfortable, I’m glad to know I’m not the only T1D who’s felt it…and I’m very glad that my body has found another way to alert me to a low blood sugar, especially since it’s a way that makes me want to correct it more quickly than ever before.

Memory Monday: That Time a Classmate Said That Having Diabetes Means You’re Screwed

One Monday per month, I’ll take a trip down memory lane and reflect on how much my diabetes thoughts, feelings, and experiences have unfolded over the years. Today, I remember…

…that one time in college when some random kid sitting near me in class said that having diabetes means “you’re screwed”. In other words, you can’t live with it, it’s a death sentence.

Before I talk about how I responded to that, I’ll provide some context. It was my freshman or sophomore year of college. I was in a discussion group for my Nutrition 101 seminar. It was early enough in my college career that I still felt painfully shy around most of my classmates, unless they happened to live in my dorm or I had known them in high school (even though I went to a college with an undergraduate population of more than 20,000, I’d still occasionally encounter a high school classmate – it’s a small world after all).

But when it comes to diabetes…well, I have a reputation for not being able to shut up about it. So when it inevitably came up over the course of the Nutrition class, and the teacher’s assistant asked us to define it, I felt a natural impulse to say everything I knew about it. I had to suppress it, though, because my fear of raising my hand in class was stronger than my desire to spew out an overly in-depth definition of diabetes.

So I let someone else answer the question, noting what was right and wrong about the response. As the T.A. launched into her notes on diabetes and nutrition, I overheard a muttered, ignorant comment from the kid next to me:

If you have diabetes, that means you’re screwed!

Your art is yours
As you might imagine, I didn’t take too kindly to his words.

While the dude sitting next to him laughed, I felt instant rage surge throughout my body. Without even thinking, I blurted out loud, just audibly enough for him to hear, “No, having diabetes does not mean you’re screwed. Whether you have type 1 or type 2, you can live a perfectly normal life with it. I would know, I have type 1.” I felt my face flush as I turned my attention back to the oblivious T.A. in the front of the room. In the corner of my eye, I saw that the kid was sitting there, mouth slightly agape, probably surprised that the quiet girl in discussion group spoke up to shut down his idiotic way of thinking.

It’s been several years since I was in this particular class, and I don’t remember much of the materials that were taught in it. But I do remember this exchange. It stands out to me because it’s a reminder of how far we’ve got to go as a society to defeat diabetes stigma and prove that you can do more than survive with diabetes – you can thrive with it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Diagnosis of LDM

What is LDM? According to my mother, it stands for Lovely Diabetes Mystery. The “lovely”, of course, is sarcastic, whereas the “diabetes” and “mystery” relate to a random, unforeseen diabetes medical incident – which occurred to me on Sunday, October 7th.

I woke up that morning with some abdominal pain. I rolled over soon after waking to check my CGM, and was startled to see that I’d be in the 300s for most of the night as I was sleeping. I quickly bolused for it using my PDM, and shut my eyes, hoping to get some more rest and to wake up again without stomach discomfort.

No such luck. About an hour later, I opened my eyes and looked at my PDM again, and I had barely come down. I tested to confirm, and sure enough, I’d only gone down a few points. I was worried, which was exacerbated by the weird nausea I was having. Could this be a sign of something more serious?

My mother convinced me to do a manual injection with a syringe. We both figured that that would help bring my numbers down faster, and that if I started coming down quickly, then it could mean that the pod I had just applied the day before was not working properly. We agreed that I should probably change it, to err on the side of caution.

However, I didn’t get to change my pod until much later in the day. That’s because of what happened soon after I took my manual injection.

I went to use the bathroom, certain that the churning of my stomach meant that I was about to be sick. I was standing in front of the toilet when I started sweating – profusely. On top of that, my vision went all fuzzy, and I felt totally disoriented. I knew something was wrong, so I called out for help.

My mom raced into the bathroom to find me seated on the floor, dripping in sweat. I placed myself on the floor deliberately because I was worried I might pass out and injure myself. She started cooling me down with a wet facecloth, and searched through the drawers to find a thermometer to check my temperature. She also grabbed her test kit and my lancing device, because naturally, we both assumed that perhaps my blood sugar was dropping rapidly from the insulin injection, and it might be a hypoglycemic event.

But when we checked my blood sugar, I was still in the high 200s. I was pretty scared at this point and just wanted the sweating to stop and for my vision to clear. That’s when my dad came in and made the executive decision to call an ambulance for me.

A police officer, three firefighters, and two EMTs showed up my house. I answered questions in my confused state. My vision restored and the sweating stopped, but I still felt weak and woozy. They put me into the ambulance. I was given an IV bag and medication for the nausea. It was my first time in an ambulance and it was not exciting, just weird. I didn’t like riding backwards or experiencing the twists and turns along the way.

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I was bored in the hospital; so naturally, I created this boomerang of my IV drip.

We arrive to the hospital. I’m whisked away into the ER. I answer a series of questions from various medical students and nurses and doctors. They draw blood for tests. I give them a urine sample for more testing. I keep on explaining the concept of my OmniPod to each one of them. No one seems to have seen it before, besides one med student who has a sister who works for Insulet. Small world!

We monitor my blood sugar closely. My tests come back normal. I eat my first foods for the day around 2 P.M.: sugar-free jello and two hard-boiled eggs. Yum…

I get an injection of insulin at the hospital. We don’t have a vial of Humalog with us – it was the one thing we forgot to grab from the house. But my dad drives home to retrieve it so I can change my pod at the hospital. My mom does it for me. I feel helpless.

The old pod comes off and we notice a definite bend in the cannula. Okay. One thing explained. I wasn’t receiving my full insulin dosages due to the bend, and unfortunately, I have no way of knowing how much insulin I was truly receiving. All I know is that it wasn’t enough, and that’s why I was running high.

I receive a diagnosis: vasovagal syncope, or pre-syncope. It’s explained to me, but I still don’t really get it. So I text my best friend, who is also a nurse. She tells me that it’s very common and can be triggered by a variety of things. The pre-syncope aspect makes more sense to me, seeing as I never truly passed out.

I’m discharged and feel so very tired. It was a long day. The following days are filled with follow-ups and message exchanges between myself, my endocrinologist, and my primary care physician. My healthcare team and I think that we come up with a plausible explanation for the hullabaloo: My body knew something was wrong. It knew that my blood sugar was abnormally high, and it knew to send signals to me that I needed to take care of it. Hence, the abdominal pain. My dehydrated state exacerbated things, and when I started sweating and lost more fluids, it was a lot for my body to experience.

Sheesh. What an ordeal. Like any diabetes-related experience, it taught me a lot, but I certainly don’t want anything like that to happen again. Shout-out to the healthcare professionals, but especially my parents, for taking damn good care of me throughout the whole episode. You’re the bomb diggity.

Favorite Things Friday: My OmniPod

One Friday per month, I’ll write about my favorite things that make life with diabetes a little easier for me.

This month’s favorite thing is so damn obvious that it’s kind of shocking I haven’t written about it yet on the blog: my OmniPod insulin pump.

I love the friggen’ thing.

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My OmniPod PDM.

I don’t know if it’s because pumping works better for me in general over multiple daily injections (MDIs), or if it’s because the OmniPod is simply the perfect pump for me. Honestly, it’s probably a combination of the two. I love how convenient it is – I can deliver insulin any time, any place, I don’t have to worry about tubing getting caught on random objects, and it lasts me for three full days (of course, only if it’s working properly…I’d estimate that it does about 90% of the time). And I love that my dosages are so much more precise compared to how they used to be when I was doing MDIs. It gives me more control, knowing that I can dose in .05 increments according to my current blood sugar levels and carbohydrate intakes.

However, it is merely another piece of diabetes technology, meaning that it does have some flaws. Sometimes pods fail for the silliest reasons, such as coming into contact with static electricity. And other times pods don’t work for no damn good reason at all, without giving the user proper notice (in the case of bent cannulas, something I recently encountered).

But for the vast majority of the time, I love my OmniPod. I’m still surprised to how quickly I adjusted to the system – the first week or two was tough, but then it was relatively smooth sailing after that period. I think it was easy for me to get used to another wearable device, because I’d already been wearing my Dexcom for a couple years by the time I got my OmniPod.

Will I wear my OmniPod for many years to come? Or will I want to switch things up and give another pump a try? Only time will tell, but for now, I think I’ll stick with what I know best in the world of insulin pumping.