Tag: life with diabetes

Metformin Update #3: Is it My Imagination…or Side Effects?

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Frequent readers of this blog are probably familiar with my journey with Metformin. If you aren’t, or want to brush up on my history with it, read here, here, and here in order to get caught up.

The big white “horse pill” that is known as Metformin has become a relatively solid part of my routine in the last six or so weeks. I’ve skipped doses here and there for varying reasons (i.e., on occasions when I’ve had two or more alcoholic beverages); otherwise, I’ve been taking it and monitoring my blood sugars carefully each day.

But apparently, my blood sugars aren’t the only thing I should be watching diligently.

METFORMIN UPDATE #2

Just like any other drug out there, Metformin comes with side effects…which I totally chose to discount from the beginning, mainly because my endocrinologist thought that the extended release tablets would mitigate the likelihood of side effects. I’m questioning that logic, though, after experiencing indigestion and general stomach discomfort within a few hours after taking my Metformin pill.

It didn’t happen just once. There were at least three consecutive days that I experienced these symptoms. Within an hour or so after eating dinner, I felt uncomfortably full – like I’d eaten a whole Thanksgiving meal instead of a normally portioned dinner. I know that I wasn’t eating a larger quantity of food than usual, and since I typically have a semi-insatiable appetite, I knew that it just had to be related to my Metformin dose.

I decided to do some more research into the side effects of Metformin. And I was pretty surprised by what I saw. Shocked, actually. Because evidently, a massive array of side effects can occur on Metformin. The stomach discomfort I’d experienced was common, but other side effects that caught my attention included restless sleep, muscle pain, cramping, and a rash/hives.

Very interesting. I’ve felt all of those things in the last few weeks. I chalked it up to overdoing it with my exercises, but…it’s not like I was doing anything new or particularly strenuous in my routines. I do a combination of cardio and resistance training, for about an hour most days of the week. I always make sure to stretch before and after working out, and yet I felt a soreness and achiness (mostly in my legs) for a few nights in a row a couple weeks back. There was even one night that I tossed and turned so much that I hardly slept a wink – the restlessness in my legs was that bad. And the rash/hives? I’ll go into more detail in a future post, but on a random Tuesday night, I experienced a breakout so bad that I wound up going to the ER. They cleared up within an hour or so of a Benadryl dose, but it was still a scary experience.

Okay, so I think I can safely blame all of these issues on my Metformin intake. But that still doesn’t quite answer why I was experiencing multiple symptoms so suddenly. My theory is that my body was struggling to adjust to taking Metformin consistently, and as a result, I was feeling the side effects. There’s no way for me to be sure, but I think this warrants another experiment…another break from Metformin. My blood sugars have been good on it, but have they improved so drastically that I can’t imagine life without Metformin?

The answer is a resounding no.

I’ll likely consult with my endocrinologist at some point to tell her my thoughts and theories. But for now, I’m taking a break for an unknown period of time to see if there’s any change in how my body feels. We’ll see how it goes.

Favorite Things Friday: Vial Safe Insulin Protector

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One Friday per month, I’ll write about my favorite things that make life with diabetes a little easier for me.

Okay, so it’s DEFINITELY been a few months since I last wrote about a favorite thing of mine. I admit that I started running out of things that I deemed worthy enough of sharing with my readers! It felt silly to continue doing it on a monthly basis if I didn’t have anything particularly great to write about, so I stopped, promising myself that I’d pick it up again the next time I got excited about a product.

Enter the Vial Safe insulin protector sleeves that I just ordered.

Favorite Things Friday_ Vial Safe Insulin Protector.png

I’d seen posts about these little insulin vial jackets before on Instagram, and I always had them bookmarked in the back of my mind as something I should order. After all, I’ve felt the agony of a shattered insulin vial before, and let me tell you: It’s awful. I was somewhat young when I broke my first (and hopefully only) vial and basically brushed the whole thing off because I assumed that it would be easy (i.e., free) to get a replacement. But now, at age 26 and in my first few months of being on my own health insurance plan, I know better. Accidentally breaking an insulin vial in this day in age seems like the equivalent to setting a stack of hundred dollar bills on fire – completely pointless, unnecessary, and wasteful.

So I’m betting that my two new Vial Safe sleeves will help protect me from ever experiencing a shattered vial again. I’m especially looking forward to bringing them with me on my next trip, as they’ll surely keep my vials more secure as I have the tendency to shove them wherever I can find space in my luggage.

I bought my Vial Safe insulin protectors on Amazon, but there also available for purchase here. And no, I wasn’t asked (and I’m definitely not being paid) to write about these or any other products I’ve ever mentioned on Hugging the Cactus – I simply believe in spreading the word about a quality item if it has helped make diabetes management easier for me in some way.

 

Learning to be Chronically Chill

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I’m not sure that I’ll ever fully be at peace with my diabetes.

I have days when I hate it a little less, sure. I even have days when it doesn’t bother me at all. But true acceptance of my diabetes? I used to think I had it…not anymore. In 22 years, there’s just been too many times that I’ve detested every aspect about life with diabetes: the painful shots/needles, the constant planning, the many doctors appointments, the countless hours of sleep lost, the amount of money that goes into caring for it…the list could go on and on.

I know, I know…this all sounds extremely negative. It’s a little unlike me. But let me tell you what, instead of forcing myself to unequivocally accept my diabetes, I’m learning how to be what I’ll call “chronically chill” with it. It’s a bit of a play on words, you see. Diabetes is considered a chronic illness (I prefer to think of it as a condition; to me, “illness” has an ickier connotation). By definition, the word chronic means long-standing or permanent, and I’ll always have diabetes. So it’s about time that I start to be chronically chill – persistently cool, relentlessly alright-fine-I-get-it-you’re-not-going-away-any-time-soon – with my diabetes.

Learning to be Chronically Chill
Me, being my chronically chillest, on the beach.

To me, this is different than accepting it. Others might disagree, which is totally fine, but I think that accepting diabetes means hugging it warmly, with open arms. I don’t want to do that. Rather, I want to get to a place where I can be just…fine with my diabetes. Just let it coexist with me. I never want it to get to the best of me, but I also don’t want it to think that it can stay with me forever. I guess it’s the optimist in me that still thinks a cure is right around the corner.

How am I going about this process of being chronically chill? I’m taking it a day at a time. I’m trying to not get bogged down so much by the small things. I’m trying (and this is super mega hard for someone like me) to come to terms with the fact that I can’t have control over everything in my life. I’m trying to focus more on things like time in range versus my A1c. I’m trying all of this at once, and I believe that it will help me achieve the chronically chill status I’ve described.

And if the process goes more slowly than I want it to, I’ll just refer to the above photo of me on the beach from time to time…because it’s hard to find a place where I’m more chill – my most serene self – than when I’m near the sand and surf.

Doing Everything Right and Still Getting it Wrong

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One of the most frustrating things about having diabetes is feeling like you’re finally understanding it, perhaps even mastering it, only for it to lash out at you and make you feel like you don’t know shit about it.

It’s when you do everything right – check and treat accordingly, eat properly, exercise sufficiently – and still get it wrong when your blood sugars don’t behave the way they should.

I really hate when this happens, but I loathe when it happens on vacation…which is exactly what happened to me last week when I was in Maine for a few days.

Things started going awry shortly after I woke up (if only I knew then that I was in for a DAY!!!). I ate breakfast and my blood sugar swiftly started to rise. But I didn’t panic, because that’s what I wanted to happen. We’d be walking all around town for part of the morning and most of the afternoon, so I wanted my blood sugar to be on the higher side so that my chances of dropping dramatically in the heat were lower. I made the right call – soon after we got downtown, I noticed a diagonal down arrow on my Dexcom app. Things were headed in the right direction…or so I thought.

Not long after I spotted the diagonal arrow, I started to feel a little low-ish. Not super shaky or anything, but just a bit disoriented. I decided to pop into my favorite candy store to fill a small bag with treats so I had something sugary to munch on that would prevent a bad low blood sugar.

Those were mistakes number one and two…not consulting with my CGM again before eating candy, and going to town on it because it was CANDY and it tasted delicious.

Doing Everything Right and Still Getting it Wrong

Within a half hour, I was rising up, up, and up. I took a small amount of insulin to correct it, not wanting to be too aggressive and risk a real low. But as I walked around the amusement park with my boyfriend and his family, I just wasn’t coming back down like I thought I would. I lingered in the mid-200s for much of the early afternoon, and by the time we stopped for lunch, I was rage-bolusing to bring my numbers down faster. I even chose a lower-carb lunch option in the hopes that it’d stave off another high blood sugar, but nope, the BG gods were not in my favor that afternoon. As we moved from the amusement park to a brewery (a drastically different change in locale, I know), I bolused once again, and then noticed that the batteries in my PDM were low.

And that actually wasn’t a problem, because I was prepared enough to have spare triple A batteries on me – thank goodness! I took the old ones out, popped the new ones in, and waited for my PDM to come back to life. And it did…but it asked me to input the month, day, and year.

Dammit. THAT’S never a good sign. I entered the information and the system accepted it, and then my pod failed immediately after, which meant that I had to ditch the brewery and the group of people that I was with to get back to the house we were staying at as quickly as possible to put a new one on.

It doesn’t get much more irritating than that.

(Later, I discovered that my PDM’s internal battery was going, and that this behavior would occur every time I replaced the triple A batteries. Needless to say, I’m awaiting a new PDM from Insulet, because it’s just not smart to continue using an aging PDM.)

By the end of this day of turbulent blood sugars and unpredictable medical device malfunctions, I was mentally beat. I felt like I’d been thrown into the roughest of ocean waters and forced to tread water for hours in order to keep my head above the surface. It’s exhausting to know that, when it’s all said and done, I was really trying to do the right things and take care of myself. I was SO DANG PREPARED with those extra triple A batteries, for goodness’ sake! But man, diabetes…just when I think I know it better than anything else, it throws me for a loop and I remember a saying from Professor Mad-Eye Moody of the Harry Potter series (of course I’m talking about Harry Potter again, don’t act surprised): CONSTANT VIGILANCE. I’ve got to be aware of my diabetes at all times. I’ve got to know how to react and when so that my diabetes will remain in my charge – not the other way around.

Sugar and T1D: Friends, Not Foes

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For someone who doesn’t eat sugar…. you sure do know how to bake….damn those were good

My coworker sent this to me via instant message as a way of thanking me for the cupcakes I’d brought into the office that morning. Before 11 A.M., a dozen and a half or so “butterbeer” flavored cupcakes I’d created were devoured by my coworkers, who gave rave reviews on their taste, much to the delight of this wannabe pastry chef.

This particular message of praise, though, made me simultaneously smile and cringe: It was that comment, again. The one about sugar and not being able to eat it.

Everyone in my office knows that I have type 1 diabetes. And because I make it my mission to spread awareness of how to react in certain situations that a T1D might encounter, most people I work with know that in cases of low blood sugar, fast-acting carbohydrates (i.e., sugar) are essential as they’re the fastest way to fix a low.

Calais University
Sugar saves my life from time to time…and no, that’s not an exaggeration.

But every now and then, I’m reminded that no, people don’t always remember what you tell them about diabetes. It goes to show that there’s always room for more advocacy…which is why I write about diabetes and won’t stop talking about it to those who want to know more.

As a result, I’m constantly telling people that I can and do eat sugar; in fact, it saves my life from time to time. Maybe that’s the subconscious reason why I love baking cupcakes, cookies, and more: For a girl who relies on sugar sometimes, I sure do know that a baked good every now and then is what helps me stay alive.

A1c: Keep it a Secret or Share it with the World?

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This post originally appeared on ASweetLife.org on May 12, 2015. I felt very strongly about keeping my A1c to myself four years ago. I’m still not too keen on sharing it with the world for the reasons I explain in this post, but I have been known to celebrate A1c victories on social media by posting particularly exciting results. Where do you stand on the spectrum? Keep it a secret, share it with others, or somewhere in between?

Over time, I’ve grown more comfortable with the concept of sharing as much of my diabetes story as possible. I’m open to the idea of answering questions that others may have for me, but there’s a key piece of information that I don’t think I will ever willingly share online: my hemoglobin A1c.

Some might make the assumption that this is because I feel ashamed or defeated by that number. I won’t lie, there are times in which I do get disheartened by my current A1c – particularly when I expected to hear a more favorable report from my endocrinologist.

Rather, I think the real embarrassment stems from the comparisons I make between my own A1c and the numbers reported by others. When I began blogging for ASweetLife just over two years ago, that marked the start of me exploring the world of T1D blogs. It was awesome to connect with others virtually by reading about their own personal experiences with diabetes. I admired the courage that many demonstrated by revealing some of their greatest challenges and obstacles they had overcome in their journeys. It seemed that improved A1c numbers were a common theme for nearly all of them.

HUGGING THE CACTUS - A T1D BLOG (1)
What do you do with your A1c information?

At that point, I started to compulsively compare my number to everyone else’s numbers. I seriously questioned myself and my ability to obtain a better A1c reading. I mentally berated myself for having a less-than-perfect number. The rational part of me knew that it was not wise to measure myself against others, but I just couldn’t seem to help it.

After a while, it dawned on me that the road to better A1cs had not been smooth for any of these individuals. It was marked by divots, twists, and turns along the way. As such, I wasn’t being fair to myself as I sought to see a better A1c. I know that it’s hard work and that I just need to focus on my own overall health and well-being (as opposed to that of other people) as I continue to strive for that 6.

Regardless, don’t expect to see me posting my A1c to my blog any time soon. I don’t really think I need a daily reminder out there for all to see of what my A1c was at a given moment in time. Instead, I think it’s important that I focus on what’s happening now and what I can do to help my current state of being. So for now, I’m content with keeping my A1c to myself.

Dad Appreciation Post

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This post originally appeared on Hugging the Cactus on June 18, 2018. I wanted to republish it today because my dad (and all fathers of T1D children) should be recognized for everything they do for us. I also wanted to give my dad a little extra shout-out, as this is the first Father’s Day that I’m not there to celebrate him in-person.

Father’s Day was yesterday, but as I did the day after Mother’s Day, I want to use today’s blog as an opportunity to express my appreciation for dads: Namely, my own father.

Besides being the family patriarch, my dad is a firefighter/EMT. He makes his family feel safe with his emergency preparedness knowledge and skills. He also deals with his diabetic wife and daughter on an almost-daily basis, which warrants, at the very least, a ginormous golden trophy with his name engraved on it in fancy script.

Hey, Handsome
I’m so grateful for my amazing dad!

That’s because he sees the ugly side of diabetes from time to time. The side that causes blood to spurt out of mom’s abdomen when she removes a pod that struck a vein. The side that causes me to lash out, because my blood sugar won’t seem to come down from a sticky high, no matter what I do. The side that causes mom and I to lose sleep, because we’re treating another middle-of-the-night low blood sugar. The side that forces mom and I to be prepared for any and every possible diabetes scenario that could occur while traveling. The side that causes us to cry, because we just can’t deal with diabetes today.

And he’s there through it all.

He’s there to apply pressure and gauze to the bloody site. He’s there, feeling just as upset as I am, because he just wants my blood sugar levels to come back down, too. He’s there to make sure mom and I have enough glucose tablets or juice to bring our levels back up. He’s there, keeping us calm as we pack for our next trip and taking care of all the travel arrangements. He’s there to comfort us when we need him to, and he hates that we live with diabetes – probably even more than we do.

He’s the kind of guy who says he’d trade his pancreas with us in a heartbeat if it meant we wouldn’t have to live with diabetes anymore.

He’s the kind of guy I’m proud to call my dad.

Thanks, Dad, for helping me handle my diabetes over the years, and supporting every venture (diabetes and otherwise) that I pursue.

Metformin Update #2: Reintroducing Myself to the Big White Pill

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It’s been a minute since I wrote about my Metformin journey on the blog. The last time I posted about it, I had made the decision to stop taking it after experiencing a scary low blood sugar. That, coupled with the fact that I just didn’t feel ready to be experimenting so much with my diabetes medication, convinced me that the timing wasn’t right for me and Metformin.

Fast-forward to May 30, 2019. I had an appointment with my endocrinologist. It was a productive one, because we addressed a number of my concerns that have cropped up in the last three months. One question I had for her was whether she thought I should give Metformin another shot.

METFORMIN UPDATE #2
Really though, why do these darn pills have to be so large?

She thought that I should. We went over the benefits: it’d make my insulin more effective, thereby fighting back against my current insulin resistance and reducing my total daily intake. With less artificially-made insulin in my system, I may be reducing my risk for cancer (according to studies she’s read), and I may also shed a few of the pounds that I’ve been struggling to lose.

By the time of this appointment, I was feeling frustrated with the amounts of insulin I was using each day. Ever since I got off my parents’ health insurance plan, I’ve been super conscious about my supply of insulin as I try to figure out how I’ll afford it under my new plan. And it hasn’t been easy. So in an effort to reduce my overall insulin use, I decided it was time to give Metformin another go.

I’m more cautious this time around. My doctor and I talked about my fears and she helped me come up with a plan to reintroduce it to my diabetes care and management routine. I’m starting to take less insulin at dinnertime and I’m running a temp basal overnight to see how my blood sugars fare. We’re playing it safe by somewhat dramatically reducing my dinnertime insulin-to-carb ratio, but I’d much rather do that than be overly aggressive.

It’s only been about a week since I’ve started the new regimen. That’s not enough time for me to attest to whether or not I’ve adjusted to it, because I deliberately skipped taking Metformin on a couple nights in which I knew I’d be imbibing alcohol…again, it’s all about being smart and not introducing too many variables at once. We’ll see how it goes. Until Metformin update #3, that’s all I’ve got for now.

That “Thing” on my Arm

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“Yo, I don’t mean to be rude, but what’s that thing on your arm? Looks pretty cool.”

I turned around to face the stranger who was looking at me and asking me this question. It was well after midnight and we were on the rooftop of a fairly crowded bar. It was a balmy, summery night and I was enjoying the atmosphere with my boyfriend and my best friend. I’d had a few drinks over the course of the night, but judging by the state of everyone else on the rooftop, I was probably more sober than most of them.

IMG_2634
THIS is the sticker I should’ve been wearing that night…keeps things much more simple.

I could’ve answered his question in a scolding manner; it wasn’t a “thing”, it was a device that keeps me alive.

I could’ve totally dismissed him and told him to mind his own beeswax, because really, it is sort of rude to point out something on another person’s body.

I could’ve lied and told him it was something that it’s not to get him to stop bothering me.

I could’ve launched into an educational breakdown of what an insulin pump is and why my OmniPod looks the way it does.

I could’ve done any number of things, but instead I decided to say, “Oh, this is my insulin pump. I’ve got it decorated right now with a picture of a lighthouse because I like adding some style to it.” I smiled at him as a way of reassuring him that I really didn’t care that he was asking me, because I didn’t.

My straightforward answer seemed to please this random man. He told me again that he thought it was cool, and then we chatted a bit about where the lighthouse is and discovered we both have a connection to Massachusetts. Within a few brief moments, the conversation was over as we went our separate ways.

It was a perfectly harmless interaction that could’ve went a number of different ways, but to me, it’s all about context. This guy was just asking out of curiosity, and I truly don’t think he was trying to be rude about it. So I answered his question succinctly but good-naturedly, because I felt that was the only way to go about it in this busy party environment. Plus, let’s be real here…had I delved into a discussion about diabetes and devices, this drunk man probably wouldn’t have digested a single detail of my description. (Ahh, I love alliteration.) And another important point? He was damn right, my pump did look cool because of the lighthouse sticker!

But man, how much simpler it’d’ve been if I’d just been wearing my “THIS IS MY INSULIN PUMP” sticker on my pod that night.