Tag: diabetes blog

Travel Time…Again

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This past September, I wrote a blog post (that you can read here) about the emotions surrounding my first plane flight and travel plans since the start of the pandemic. Primarily, I was feeling a lot of anxiety and nerves, but the trip wound up being wonderful and proof to me that I am still a very capable traveler who can adapt to the new travel norms of the last couple of years.

Now, I’m feeling a different level of anxiety and nerves over traveling again – this time, solo, to an entirely new place. I’m traveling for work to a state I’ve never been to before, which is definitely exciting, but also a little scary for me. And that’s kind of funny for me to admit, seeing as I used to travel by myself all the time and it was no big deal.

Traveling + diabetes = travelbetes.

But it’s been years since I last traveled alone, so now I’m rusty on the old tried-and-true routines I followed back then that helped me feel more prepared before and during a trip. It’s also my first trip post-personal experience with covid, which you would think would decrease my stress levels because I’m likely to be protected by antibodies (in addition to my original vaccinations and boosters). On the contrary, it just makes me more uncertain about the steps that I should take to protect myself and others as much as possible – for example, do I make sure to wear a mask at all times, or can I be a little more lax about it?

As I navigate my shaky self-confidence in my ability to travel solo and how to best take care of myself, I’ve come to at least one conclusion that will assuage both concerns: Prepping ahead of time is key. Two weeks prior to my trip, I started packing my suitcases and making a list of everything I need to bring with me, checking items off as I’ve added them to my luggage. I’ve even started packing as many diabetes supplies as I can (saving something like insulin for last, obviously, because it needs to stay refrigerated) and taking care to double or triple up on everything, such as my pods or vials of extra test strips. It’s a little challenging to try to think ahead on everything I might need on this trip, but as any person with diabetes can tell you, it’s so important to plan for any and every possible scenario that could occur when traveling.

And I know my future self will be thanking me for taking the time now to do so much of this preparation. Goodness knows I would not want to do it all the night before!

Despite the varying levels of worry I have about this trip, I know that doing all of this prep work will keep both me and my diabetes happy and healthy, as well as help ensure that I can even have a little fun while on this business trip.

Why I Called Quits on Metformin

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This post was originally published on Hugging the Cactus on December 6, 2019. I’m sharing it again today as a follow-up to Monday’s post, which explained how I was introduced to Metformin. This one covers why I decided to call it quits on my Metformin journey. Read on for the full scoop…

Well, well, well…looks like I’ve got another Metformin update for you all.

You’ve probably lost track of where I am in this long, twisting journey with the pill. (If you need a refresher, all you need to do is click here and read through my original posts.)

All caught up? Great. Now you really understand how complex my relationship with Metformin is.

There were times that I loved it. There were times that I hated it. And there were times when I simply couldn’t be sure if it was working for me the way that I’d hoped and needed it to.

I thought Metformin was right for me, but it turns out it definitely is not.

This last go-round represented the latter thought: Metformin simply wasn’t cutting it for me.

I’d been taking one pill daily for about a month when I decided to quit. The reason why I stopped taking it is simple: I wasn’t noticing a dramatic reduction in how much insulin I take each day. It was maybe a one or two unit drop, and that just doesn’t justify me taking a pill like this on a daily basis.

Now, you might be wondering why I didn’t amp up my dose. After all, it says right on the bottle that I can take up to four pills daily. Well, I chose not to take more for a few reasons: 1) I’m in between endocrinologists right now, and don’t really have anyone to consult regarding dosage, 2) At one point in time, I thought I noticed side effects of taking Metformin, and I’ve convinced myself that any possible side effects would intensify with a higher dose, 3) I wasn’t sure whether the higher blood sugars I was dealing with in the fall were due to stress or permanent changes that my body was experiencing.

So yeah, as you can see, it’s not a cut-and-dry answer when it comes to me increasing my Metformin dose.

I feel like I’m in a better place now with my blood sugars and daily insulin intake. Certainly, things have improved compared to how they were in September and much of October. Rather than fret over taking “too much” insulin every day, I’m going to focus on things that I have greater ability to control, such as the foods I choose to eat (that may or may not impact how much insulin I need) and the levels of exercise I get each week. I feel like that’s a healthier, better way to take care of myself.

So…farewell, Metformin. I won’t miss you. I know you do great things for other people with diabetes, but I’m not sure that you and I are a good match.

Molly, Meet Metformin

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This blog post was originally published on Hugging the Cactus on February 25, 2019. I’m sharing it again today because when I initially started taking Metformin, I felt really alone because I didn’t know any other person with T1D who was also taking it. It is my hope that talking about my experience helps someone who might feel similarly or would like to hear from a fellow T1D what it was like to start Metformin. Read on for more…

You may have read the title to this post and said to yourself, “Met-WHAT?”

Metformin is the new medication I’ve started taking (along with my typical insulin) to help regulate my blood sugars.

Maybe you didn’t make it all the way to that second sentence; instead, maybe you just Googled Metformin to learn more about it. And you probably immediately got confused, because the Google search results explained that Metformin is a medication normally prescribed to people with type 2 diabetes. You know that I have type 1, though, so what gives? Why am I taking this new pill?

You see, for about a year or so, my endocrinologist has been gently encouraging me to try Metformin. She expressed concerns over the fact that I’ve had diabetes for more than 20 years, and in that span of time, I’ve had to take a lot of insulin. Like, an incalculable amount. And while that insulin helps to keep me alive, there’s also risks associated with it. Namely, she explained to me that there’s research that indicates that people with type 1 who rely on large amounts of insulin have a higher risk of developing cancer later in life.

It took a long time for me to feel ready to try Metformin, but I’m glad I didn’t start it until I was comfortable doing so.

Whoa. The “c” word. Something I never thought I’d hear during a doctor’s appointment. If you know me personally at all, then I’m sure it’s not hard to imagine that I pretty much shutdown at the mention of “cancer”. Almost immediately, I panicked and asked why she thought this research was worth mentioning. She said that it was part of her reasoning for wanting me to start Metformin. The idea is that it would make my insulin more effective, and ultimately decrease the amount of insulin I need each day. She went into a little more detail, mentioning that the only side effects tend to be nausea/upset stomach – and that’s when I stopped listening. I politely told her that I didn’t think Metformin was a wise option for me at that time, and later that day, when I took to Twitter to ask other T1Ds what they thought, I gained swift validation that I’d made the right decision: Other T1Ds with Metformin experience told me that the stomach issues they had when taking it were miserable and that they wouldn’t recommend giving it a try. Plus, I consulted with my T1D pharmacist aunt, and her opinions matched those of the other T1Ds on Twitter. So that was all I needed to hear to feel at peace with my choice to not take Metformin.

In fact, it was enough for me to turn my endocrinologist’s offer down during our next two or three appointments. I was relieved that she never pushed me to try it, but there was a small part of me that wondered whether I should give it more serious consideration. Maybe I should let her talk me into a little, rather than brushing it away and using fear as my excuse.

So we did talk about, during my most recent visit with her earlier this month. She gave me some more compelling reasons to consider taking it. Not only could I reduce my insulin intake, but it might also help me with some preexisting digestive issues I’ve had since childhood. When I asked her about the negative side effects on the stomach that I’d read about online, she told me that she would only prescribe me the “extended release” version of Metformin, which had a much lower (if any) chance of inducing nausea or any less…desirable gastrointestinal disorders.

This news definitely perked me up. We discussed a plan for introducing Metformin to my body: Start by taking one pill daily after dinner. Increase by one pill each week until I’m at four pills per day, the limit. At any point in time, I could message her with questions if I started to notice low blood sugars in the evening.

I felt reassured by this logical plan, as well as her explanations of the benefits of Metformin. So I bit the bullet and I’m in my first week of incorporating it into my post-dinner routine. I can’t say that I’ve noticed even the slightest difference, which isn’t a bad thing. I imagine that will change as my dosage increases.

I intend to blog about this new journey with Metformin; not just for the sake of keeping track of how it affects me, but to also help inform other T1Ds who may have been or may be in the same situation that I was. We’ll just have to see how it goes, but for now, rest assured that I’ll be honest in my writings about my Metformin experience. At this moment in time, I can’t help but feel hopeful that down the road, I’ll be glad I made this decision when I felt ready for it, as opposed to when I was fearful of it.

A Bit Under the Weather

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Well, it finally happened…I tested positive for covid.

The past couple of weeks have been an absolute blur as I first dealt with my boyfriend’s bout of covid – during which I felt totally healthy and well – then woke up one morning with a sore throat that immediately signaled to me that I hadn’t managed to avoid it, despite being fully vaccinated and double boosted.

I’m grateful for my constant companion, Nurse Violet, throughout this whole ordeal.

But I think it’s because of those vaccinations that my personal experience with it has truly been very mild. I’ve had no symptoms other than a tingly throat, body aches, and a general sense of fatigue. The body aches have definitely been far from pleasant, but the silver lining in this whole situation is that my blood sugars have been completely and totally normal (knock on wood that this trend continues, seeing as I’m still positive as I write this post). They are maybe running just a tad bit higher than usual because I’m getting very little movement in throughout the day, but really, it’s nothing I can’t handle. And since I’ve started taking Paxlovid (as prescribed by my primary care doctor), I’m hopeful that I’ll be on the upswing of things before long.

In the meantime, though, it’s time for me to try to relish in taking it easy for a few more days as I complete my isolation period.

My Experience Attending the ADCES All-State Meeting as a Panelist

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Talking to one doctor or healthcare provider can be intimidating. It’s not exactly my idea of “fun” to sit in a stuffy room with a medical professional and discuss various health concerns. But what about talking to dozens of them, all at the same time? Forget about fun, it sounds like downright torture.

Fortunately, “torture” is not the word I would use to describe my experience speaking as a panelist at the ADCES Massachusetts All-State meeting earlier this month.

I really enjoyed the opportunity to speak on this panel.

Rather, words like “empowering”, “therapeutic”, and “reflective” sum up how I felt during the event, and I was pleasantly surprised by that outcome. After all, I had no idea what to expect – I was there sort of on behalf of my job, but also as a favor to a former colleague who was leading a session about navigating young adulthood and diabetes; in particular, what it’s been like to transition into the “new normal” of working from home, relying on telehealth visits, and dealing with record-high levels of mental health crises among the young adult population as a result of the pandemic in the last couple of years.

You know, just the type of light and fluffy stuff people love to spend Saturday afternoons discussing, right? (Yes, that was a sarcastic statement.)

Despite the heaviness of the subject, it was a really positive experience for me because I was able to be completely open about my experiences in a room of surprisingly engaged diabetes healthcare professionals. I say “surprisingly” only because I was speaking to a room of complete strangers who knew nothing about me, but that turned out to be the beauty of the entire discussion – I was a neutral third party whose experience they could learn from and take with them into future appointments with T1D patients my age. Similarly, I was able to draw from my own experiences with healthcare professionals in the last couple of years and elaborate on what’s worked (and what hasn’t), which was healing for me to talk about because as I’ve written about here in the past, I’ve had some less than satisfactory encounters with my doctors since the onset of the pandemic. It was also nice to feel like I was really being heard by these individuals, who reacted to my stories with empathy, kindness, and concern.

All in all, I’m pleased that this speaking opportunity went so well, and I’m grateful that I will have additional chances to be at events like this in the future, thanks to my job and diabetes community connections.

What Every Parent of a T1D Child Needs to Know

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This was originally published on Hugging the Cactus on August 28, 2019. I’m sharing it again today because due to various events in my life lately, I have a whole new appreciation for just how challenging it can be to be a parent to someone with diabetes. It’s far from easy and I give all the credit in the world to parents of children with diabetes. But I also think it’s worth reiterating that despite all the (valid) fears and concerns that parents have about their T1D children, it’s also important to have faith in knowing that it will all be okay. Read on for more…

I may not be the parent of a T1D child, but I am the T1D child of my parents. So I have a unique perspective on the concerns and fears that a parent of a T1D child might have.

I also have a little more insight on these concerns and fears through my interactions with many parents of T1D children over the years. These parents had children of all ages: from toddler to teenager. Their children ranged from newly diagnosed with diabetes to multi-year veteran of T1D. Despite these differences in ages and years with diabetes, they’ve all had something major in common: An intense fear over the day when their child would make the transition from living under their roof to living independently, on a college campus or in another living situation.

The bottom line? It will be okay.

The mere thought of their beloved son or daughter going through this was enough to make some of these parents on the verge of tears. It was heartbreaking, but also somewhat confusing to me. I understand the unconditional love that parents have for their children, so naturally, they were terrified at the thought of their children feeling alone as they made the transition to young adulthood, or frightened by the prospect of their children suddenly not wanting to take care of their diabetes anymore. But what I didn’t get was why they automatically assumed the worst.

What if their child thrived in this transition? What if their child found a wonderful group of people, such as the College Diabetes Network, that helped them through this period in life (like I did)? What if their child was ready to manage everything on his or her own? Certainly, it would be a source of pride for a parent to witness his or her child do well and embrace independence.

On the flip side, if a young adult with T1D struggled to make the transition smooth…well, I told many of these parents that it’s okay. Because I struggled. A lot, actually. But I made it through. The longer I spent away from home, the more I realized that it was time for me to hold myself accountable in terms of diabetes management. There was never really any big “aha” moment for me. It was more of a slow-and-steady recognition of the fact that the shitty blood sugars I was constantly dealing with could only be changed by me, and me alone. So I took the steps I needed to; naturally, with the support of my parents.

I guess that’s kind of the two-fold message I’m trying to convey here to worried parents of T1D children: 1) Have faith in your child’s ability to adapt to change, and 2) Never underestimate how your support, in any form, can mean the world to your child. Don’t be afraid to have conversations with him/her so you can get on the same page and understand how you’re both feeling about this new life stage. That way, you can find out exactly what kind of support you can offer to your child that he/she will find most helpful.

The bottom line: Parents with T1D children, it’ll be okay. Just like people with diabetes know they’re not alone in their struggle against it, you should also know that there are many other parents out there who probably feel the same as you.

In that way, we’re never truly alone when dealing with new challenges or changes in our lives. Once that’s realized, it becomes a million times easier to figure out the best way to tackle them with your support system by your side.

Unsteadily Stable

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“Molly,

Your labs are stable. A1c is just slightly higher.”

This was the ultra-concise memo that my endocrinologist sent me post-appointment.

Nothing about this note was shocking, but somehow I’d deluded myself into thinking that my doctor’s analysis of my diabetes management in the last six months would be…I don’t know, a little more personal? Maybe contain congratulatory sentiments or words of encouragement?

Words of encouragement may have been more helpful in getting me to tip the scale and feel steadier about my diabetes management…

After all, I’d told her during our appointment that while I didn’t have any specific diabetes concerns to discuss, I did have a strong desire to improve my management. I know that I’m doing better than I was, say, at the age of 18 or 19, but as I grow older I become more acutely aware of the things that I could improve upon with my diabetes care. I acknowledge and accept that it’s up to me to be accountable for taking steps towards progress, yet I do rely on the input from my healthcare team in order to come up with realistic ways for me to make said progress. So naturally, I felt a slight tinge of disappointment when we discussed and agreed on a single, minor tweak to my basal and bolus settings before parting ways, with plans to see one another again in six months.

I couldn’t help but feel…that’s it? That’s all that I got out of this appointment? I suppose I’m feeling a bit jaded about it because it was my first time seeing my endocrinologist in about a year, since she had an extended leave of absence. In the time since I last saw her, I’d had a couple of appointments with the nurse practitioner who she allegedly works closely with, and I guess I had assumed that the NP would update my doctor on how I’m more determined than ever to take steps to achieve more time in range.

Now, I realize more than ever that I can only rely on myself to convey my thoughts and feelings about my diabetes to my healthcare team. Now, I realize that while my labs indicate my diabetes “stability”, my attitude towards my diabetes is the opposite.

I’m calling it…unsteadily stable. I’m doing fine with my diabetes, but I know that I am capable of doing better and feel like the path there will be a bumpy one.

Another way of putting it? I’m like one of those children’s roly-poly toys – I’m a little wobbly in terms of the goals I have for my diabetes management, but I certainly won’t let it cause me to fall down.

29 Feels Just Fine

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Yesterday, I turned 29 years old. True to Hugging the Cactus tradition, I’m using today’s blog post as an opportunity to reflect on how I feel about this next year of my life.

29 feels just fine to me.

I’m feeling…just fine about 29. Before you think I’m just saying that because it rhymes, or because I’m not genuinely happy to be 29 (the rhyming is just a bonus and honestly, I’m happy to be any age because it means I’m living and that’s a wonderful thing), let me jump in and say it feels fine because…it just feels right for me, right here and right now. It’s not “just fine” in a sarcastic or curt way; rather, it’s “just fine” in the sense that it feels good and perfectly acceptable and something that I will embrace.

To tie it all back to diabetes, “good and perfectly acceptable and something that I will embrace” is kind of the attitude that I strive to maintain when it comes to how I feel about my diabetes. Of course, I have my days where everything is far from good, perfectly acceptable, or embrace-worthy. But generally speaking, I’ve worked hard to get to a place where I simply and peacefully coexist with my diabetes. I ride the waves of highs and lows and always find a way or means to overcome the unexpected ripples of randomness that my diabetes drifts my way.

So I’d like to carry that mindset into the last year of my 20s: a mindset in which I take comfort in knowing that I’m capable of riding the waves caused by diabetes, or anything else in my life, really. Arming myself with the knowledge that I grow through what I go through will help me thrive with diabetes and life, and it seems like an excellent nugget of wisdom to bring with me into year 29.

A Bit Bumpy

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I spent way too long trying to come up with a good title for this blog post.

Let’s be real, here. It’s hard to think of compelling, descriptive titles that will make people want to read a piece of content. This post was particularly challenging for me because of the subject matter: bumps.

Before you jump to any conclusions, I’m not talking about baby bumps or any sort of metaphorical or literal bumps in the road. The bumps that I’m referring to are physical manifestations on my skin of my diabetes that I find unsightly, which is why I had a difficult time figuring out how to talk about them in a blog post.

I don’t understand why the bumps only appear on my thighs, but…c’est la vie.

Let me elaborate on the exact nature of these bumps. They only show up when I remove a pod that had been on my thigh. No other site experiences this blemish, and no other diabetes device (e.g., my CGM) causes a raised bump to appear on my skin’s surface. The bumps themselves are relatively small – they look a little bit like mosquito bites. You can always tell the exact location that the pod’s cannula was in because the skin looks slightly more irritated and raised there, whereas the skin around that site has a pink tinge to it. These bumps don’t hurt me, aren’t typically itchy, and usually fade in a week or so.

In the grand scheme of things, the bumps probably don’t sound like that big of a deal. But I can’t help but feel self-conscious about them because to me, they’re stark reminders of the physical marks that diabetes leaves on my body. I made peace with having to wear two different gadgets (my pod and my CGM) years ago and having those stuck on my being, but these ugly little bumps? I didn’t exactly consent to having those on my body, too.

I suppose I could solve the problem by avoiding using my thighs as sites for my pods, but to me, that’s just giving in to my diabetes and giving up an extra bit of real estate on my body that I need so I can properly rotate my pod and CGM sites. I’m a little too stubborn to just accept that I shouldn’t wear pods on my legs if I want the bumps to stop appearing. That doesn’t mean that I have to be okay with them, though.

Sharing about the bumps in a blog post is me being vulnerable about a component of my diabetes that embarrasses me. I’m hoping that it results in that shame evolving into a sense of acceptance, or maybe even pride, over my bumps. Because even though they’re far from cute, they do add visibility to my diabetes and represent the strength that my body and mind have developed in order to coexist with it on a daily basis.

Maybe writing this post is the launching point for me to think of these bumps not as blemishes, but as diabadass beauty marks, instead.

The Best Kind of Diabetes Conversation

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In my humble opinion (and experience), the best kind of diabetes conversation happens when it’s least expected among a group of people who are willing to listen and learn about it.

I was fortunate enough to have this exact type of conversation with my newly formed volleyball team after our first match of the season. (Side note that until then, I’d never played volleyball in my entire life. I was a ball of nerves the whole time, but I think that joining the league will have a positive impact on my mental health, social life, and diabetes, so I’m excited to see where the season takes me.) We were gathered around the table in a bar, enjoying a pitcher of beer and learning more about one another, when diabetes entered the conversation – as it almost always does, eventually, when I meet new people.

It’s not always easy to have a conversation with new people about diabetes.

We probably spent less than 10 minutes on the subject of diabetes, but the whole time we did talk about, I felt extremely thankful to be surrounded by people who asked thoughtful questions, demonstrated curiosity to learn more, and made a pointed effort to ensure my comfort throughout the whole conversation. The energy that the group was emitting made me feel good as I shared my experiences and showed them my Dexcom and Omnipod devices, the latter of which isn’t always easy to do around new people because I can be a little self-conscious of how they appear on my body. But it felt natural to be open and upfront about all things diabetes, as I’ve experienced it, because everyone genuinely cared to learn more.

That’s what made it such a lovely conversation; in turn, it will also serve as a great reminder to me that telling new people about diabetes doesn’t always have to be an intimidating or stressful ordeal.