I’m a Harry Potter fan. A major one. I attended the midnight release book parties. I saw every movie in theaters. I’ve dressed as Hermione Granger for Halloween on more than one occasion. I’ve been to the theme park in Florida, I’ve read the books a countless number of times, and I’ve even written fan fiction before. So maybe I’m a little bit more than a fan…I’m an ardent enthusiast.
Even though the last Potter book came out years ago, I still indulge in the wizarding world somewhat often. One day, I was thinking about it and how nobody in the books ever suffered any serious maladies (okay, having all of your bones removed by your Defense Against the Dark Arts professor or getting petrified by a basilisk snake or Splinched when Apparating are all pretty significant conditions…but bear with me here). None of the characters had anything chronic, like arthritis, or Crohn’s disease, or type 1 diabetes. And one might make the argument that it’s the effing wizarding world…why couldn’t magic be used to cure any of these illnesses?
My response to that question would be: How come Mad-Eye Moody had a fake eye? Couldn’t a new, working one have been magicked into his eye socket? (Same thing goes for his wooden leg.) George Weasley lost his ear, thanks to a Death Eater – how come it couldn’t be restored onto his head? Dragonpox, Spattergroit, and lycanthropy are all serious conditions in the books that, if curable, weren’t easily healed. Particularly lycanthropy, otherwise known as a condition in which a person transforms to a werewolf. The books specifically said there was no cure for this; only Wolfsbane potion could be drunk by the affected person to ease the transition from human to werewolf.
So obviously, I think that lycanthropy = T1D, and Wolfsbane potion = insulin in this hypothetical comparison/scenario. That being said, life with diabetes in the wizarding world as I’ve imagined it would be a little something like this…
- Diagnosis would take place at St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. Madam Pomfrey would be on-hand to learn how to help the affected student.
- Pumpkin juice and butterbeer are definitely the best/most preferable ways to bring up a low blood sugar.
- Honeydukes, the confections shop in Hogsmeade, would offer sugar-free confections that tasted so wonderful that I’d forget they were sugar-free.
- Insulin would be administered in a much less painful and invasive way. Perhaps Professor Snape would let me brew some potions for doing so in class?
- Quidditch would be the ideal form of exercise/would help keep my blood sugars in check.
- Instead of Express Scripts, I’d get my medications via Owlery Express – my very own Hedwig-esque owl would deliver them to me. And they’d cost no more than a Knut (the lowest value coin in the wizarding world).
- In Charms, I’d learn how to calculate the carbohydrates in my food with just the wave of my wand.
- My Care of Magical Creatures class would introduce me to a hot-pink colored pygmy puff who would be the magical equivalent to a diabetes alert dog – just with a touch more inherent as opposed to learned knowledge about diabetes.
- I’d learn all about Banting and Best in Muggle Studies.
Well, what are your thoughts? If you’re well-versed in the PotterSphere, what would you add to my bullet-point list? Drop a comment below…trust me, it’s actually incredibly fun to imagine a world where diabetes is a bit more tolerable, especially one so fantastically magical.