What to Do When a Loved One with Diabetes is Struggling

This blog post was originally published on Hugging the Cactus on March 20, 2019. I’m sharing it again today because as tough as diabetes can be for me, it can be even harder on my loved ones who can’t do anything about it – especially when diabetes struggles turn into emotional struggles. Read on for my opinion on how you can help your loved one with diabetes overcome difficulties.

If you have a partner/spouse, relative, or friend with type one diabetes, it can be difficult to know how to best support that person when they’re experiencing struggles related to diabetes. You might try to offer a shoulder for your loved one to lean on, but that might not always work. Your loved one might push you away or continue to internalize their issues. It can create turbulence in your relationship with one another, and it’s frustrating all around.

So what can you do?

Emotional support is incredibly important when it comes to helping a loved one with diabetes get through a difficult time.

As someone who both has T1D and loves others with T1D (my mom, my aunt, many good friends), I believe that the best way to react is to just listen. Whenever I’ve faced serious struggles or emotional turmoil due to diabetes, nothing has helped me quite like a person who spares time for me to listen to me. Whether I just need to spew out an angry diatribe (LOL at the pun), cry about my problems, talk through issues, or seek advice, it’s worked wonders on me to know that I have individuals in my life who are willing to listen to me. Let me emphasize the listen part once again – listen, not tell me that I’m right or wrong, or offer advice (unless I specifically ask for it).

I get it; sometimes, it’s easier said than done to just listen. A few people I know are so determined to help me fix the problem that they can’t help but react emotionally along with me when I’m dealing with diabetes drama. But trust me, that usually heightens (rather than alleviates) the tension.

It’s all about teamwork. Give and take is involved. Often, enormous amounts of patience are required. Sometimes, it takes awhile for the struggles to subside. But one thing that is certain is that your loved one with diabetes will always thank you and be grateful for your support in their time of need. It’ll strengthen your relationship as well as function as proof that diabetes can’t break your bond, no matter how hard it might try.

Navigating Health Insurance Hell

I am one month into my new health insurance plan, and I’m more confused than ever.

I’ve sent several emails. I’ve engaged in a number of live chats. I’ve made countless calls to my insurance company, my insulin pump provider, a mail-in pharmacy service, and my CGM provider just to try and get some answers. And almost every time I hang up the phone or walk away from the chat service, I feel lost because nothing is clear to me.

Am I stupid?

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I can’t be the only one who just doesn’t get how it all works…right?

Why can’t I just get definitive answers as to how much I’ll need to pay for insulin each month?

Why does my health insurance company advertise a partnership with a mail-order pharmacy that puts a cap on insulin costs…when in reality, it doesn’t (or at least, nobody has informed me that it does)?

Why am I learning, at this stage in the game, that my prescription plan isn’t integrated with my medical plan, which means that any prescriptions I fill using the mail-order service don’t qualify towards my deductible?

Why is it all so convoluted?

As mystified as I am by all of this, I’m coping with a strategy that my parents have helped me develop, which I’ll share with you: Anyone who is going through all of this right now, or anyone who is about to go through all of this, needs to remember to be their own advocate. (I’m reminding myself to do this on the daily.) Frequently, I tell myself that I have every right to make as many phone calls or contact efforts as needed until I understand the costs associated with reordering my supplies. Although it’s easy to get frustrated when a representative on the phone speeds through an explanation or provides contradictory information, it’s important to stay focused on the task at hand.

As I continue to figure all of this out, I’m going to take note of questions that crop up and have a notepad and pen in hand any time I make a call. I’m keeping track of all messages exchanged online and I’m using the next couple of weeks as my fact-gathering stage. It’s almost like I’m assembling pieces to a puzzle…a ginormous, complicated puzzle, but one that will result in a more complete picture of the cost of my prescriptions going forward.