CGM or Security Blanket?

So…remember all the times on this blog that I wrote about how important it is, as a person with diabetes, to be prepared at all times? And how it’s vital to have a back-up in case something unexpected happens with technology?

Well, apparently I don’t take my own advice. I mean, I usually do, but once in a blue moon, I am forgetful. Or negligent. In this particular scenario, I was both, because I simply didn’t pay attention to the fact that my CGM sensor was due for a change…and I was stuck at my workplace office, roughly 45 minutes from home, without my meter or a backup sensor in my bag. So when my CGM sensor expired at 1:48 in the afternoon, I realized that I wouldn’t have a means of checking my blood sugar until I returned home for the day. And I was a bit freaked out about that.

My biggest concern was that my blood sugar levels would run high and I wouldn’t know for certain or be able to do anything about it. I’d eaten more carbohydrates at lunchtime than usual, and had low confidence that I’d guessed the carb count accurately.

Instead of losing my cool or deciding to head home early, though, I impressed myself by choosing to ride it out. I felt sure that I’d be able to pick up my body’s signals if my blood sugar began to run low (which is definitely scarier than it running high for too long, anyways), and if it were high? Well, then, I’d just have to cut my losses and correct for it as soon as I got home. It’s never fun to have high blood sugar when it can be so easily fixed with an insulin dose, but given my options in this particular scenario I decided that I’d make peace with it, should that end up being my outcome.

It was a long 3ish hours, flying blind without my security blanket I mean, CGM, but I made it through and checked my blood sugar with my meter the moment I arrived home. And guess what? All that worrying about being high was for nothing because I was sitting pretty at 82 – a stellar blood sugar level in ordinary circumstances, but one that felt especially victorious after this less-than-ideal situation I got myself into.

The whole experience opened my eyes to the fact that my CGM is more than just a piece of diabetes technology to me, it’s a security blanket. It makes me feel that much more confident in making the majority of my diabetes-related decisions on a daily basis. And while it’s great that I have my CGM’s data available to me most of the time, it’s also an indication that maybe I could stand to be a little less reliant on it and trust myself and my own body a bit more. Maybe I could stand to check my graph 50% less than I do each day (believe me, I glance at it frequently, definitely more than I need to) to build a healthier boundary between me and my CGM. Or maybe I can do a better job at keeping tabs on my back-up supplies so I don’t run into this again.

Or…maybe I can totally do both of those things to do a better job of becoming my own source of security when it comes to my diabetes. I like the sound of that.