I started out 2020 with an A1c that surprised me. It was a good surprise: Anything under 7 is a win in my book.
I won’t specifically say what the number was, because I don’t really believe in doing that and I fear that it will invite unwelcome judgment and/or comparisons. But I will celebrate that achieving this A1c was far from easy. It’s required a lot of work from me in the last few months, which have generally been a very turbulent period of time for me.
It seemed like the “diabetes gods” were really testing me in the latter half of 2019. From a month of unexplained highs to random incidents of technology failing me, I felt like I was being put through the wringer. I felt like a failure on just about all diabetes fronts, and it seemed like my efforts to maintain my desired blood sugar levels were fruitless.
So that’s why I could hardly believe my current A1c reading. Maybe it seems even more impossible to me because I didn’t even get to discuss it with an endocrinologist. In fact, I never got to talk to my new endo (the one I may or may not continue to see) about any of my A1c goals. Doesn’t that seem kind of effed up? Shouldn’t my doctor want to know what I hope to accomplish, in terms of my diabetes, in the next 3-6 months?
In that regard, this A1c has surprised me in more than one way…it’s not just that I’ve managed to get here (really, I’ve managed to stay here, my A1c in the last 2-3 years has been right around this number), it’s also about how it’s more than just a measurement of my average blood sugars in a 90-day period…it’s a marker of how I feel, emotions-wise, about my diabetes. I never thought about it much before, but as I’ve grown older, it’s really become a sign for me as to whether or not I have my shit together with my diabetes. It can signify how I’ve felt about my diabetes in a given period of time, from the lowest of the low burnouts to the highest of the high determined and motivated.
Kind of crazy and yes, surprising, how a single reading can mean this much.
In this edition of Favorite Things Friday, I share a great new book that I just read: The World’s Worst Diabetes Mom by Stacey Simms!
Disclosure: I bought this book on my own and this review is unpaid. I am writing this to share an excellent book that was written by someone I consider a personal friend and wonderful diabetes advocate. This is my honest review of the book.
Hey, Cactus friends! Welcome to another Favorite Things Friday post. I’m really happy to write this one up, for a few reasons: 1) Stacey Simms is a terrific human being and I’m glad we met IRL for the first time a few years ago, 2) I enjoyed reading her personal experience with diabetes, and 3) I think this book is pretty important and I’d like to share the reasons why with you all.
Oh, and it’s also got an awesomely intriguing title that will definitely make you want to know why Stacey is publicly declaring that she’s the world’s worst diabetes mom…a bold statement, indeed!
So I don’t know about you, but I had no idea until a few years ago that there are actually a LOT of diabetes books out there. Some are memoirs, others are guides. And there’s even some that address specialty subjects, like pregnancy and diabetes.
Stacey’s book is a fusion of a memoir and a guide. It’s all about her son Benny’s diabetes diagnosis and the lessons that she and her family have learned over the years. Each chapter focuses on a different topic – examples include going to diabetes camp, playing sports with diabetes, and vacationing with diabetes – and ends with a list of questions that readers can ask themselves to help them navigate these specific scenarios.
What I liked so much about this book is that I learned a lot from it: It’s not just for those who are new to diabetes. (I’ve had diabetes for more than 20 years and I am constantly learning new things!) My eyes were really opened to the perspective of a parent whose child was just diagnosed with diabetes. Not only did it help me understand the emotions my parents were probably experiencing throughout my childhood, but it also proved to me that loved ones who don’t even have diabetes go through a lot, too. They might not have to physically endure the pokes and prods or deal with the exact same feelings that those of us with T1D do, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t feel immense guilt or worry for us because they just want to do everything in their power to help ensure that we live normal, fulfilled lives. That’s an awful lot of pressure to put on oneself.
Stacey’s honesty and transparency with her family’s diabetes experience gave the book a powerful emotional punch. She owns up to all the times that diabetes has made her cry tears of sadness or yell from frustration. And refreshingly, she doesn’t shy away from sharing the past mistakes and less-than-ideal scenarios that her, Benny, and her family had to work through. I was appreciative of that because, like Stacey, I feel that there is too much of a focus on “perfectionism” when it comes to diabetes, especially these days. It’s an impossible standard that many of us set for ourselves when we should put more attention on the little victories we achieve along the way on our individual diabetes journeys.
In the final chapter of the book, Stacey shares more of her thoughts on the pressure to be perfect. The following is my favorite passage from the book:
After reading this book, you know I don’t believe in the pursuit of diabetes perfection. Even so, I’m still surprised at how many people expect it, who strive for it and feel guilt or shame because they feel they don’t measure up. We were lucky our endo told us right away that T1D management is just as much art as science. Over the years, I’ve come up with my own philosophy about Benny’s diabetes care: Don’t worry about perfect; go for safe and happy. Do I love my child? Am I doing my best? Is he happy? Is our endo happy? Yes. Then let’s keep working in that right direction.
I’ve shared that thought with parents who’ve then burst into tears. That’s not a joke. The realization that a happy, healthy child is enough can be a revelation.
By now, I’m sure you’re ready to pick up a copy of the book and find out from Stacey herself why she gave herself the “worst diabetes mom” moniker (because yes, I deliberately did NOT explain it in this post because I think it’s best explained by the author). You can pre-order a copy of the book here, and to hear more from Stacey, be sure to check out and subscribe to her podcast “Diabetes Connections”, available on the Apple podcast app, Android, and any other podcast app of your choice.