I don’t often perform pod changes in public. This is mainly due to the fact that I’m most comfortable changing my pod in my own home, where I have all my supplies readily available…and more importantly, it’s where I feel safe taking off a pod from an old site and putting a fresh one onto a new location.
So you can imagine the level of unease I felt when I had no choice but to change my pod at my office for the first time since starting my new job.
I did this plenty of times at my last office job, but that was always behind the privacy of a closed conference room door that I could lock and that nobody could see into. This level of discretion meant that I could take my time with my pod changes without worrying about someone seeing me and getting the wrong idea about what I was doing (even I can admit that it looks a bit suspicious to see someone in a non-hospital setting drawing an unidentified liquid out of a vial with a syringe).
Both fortunately and unfortunately for me, my new office space is so modern in its design that every single conference room is encased with glass walls and doors – making it all too easy to peer inside each one to determine whether or not it’s occupied. That’s great for off-the-cuff meetings, but not so much for someone who needs just 5 minutes to change an insulin pump site.
Due to the lack of privacy in my office suite, I had to venture out to the main building bathrooms as a next resort. But I wasn’t just going to use any old bathroom. No, I sought out the one that had what I suspected to be the least amount of foot traffic and also the cleanest sink, because I most certainly was not going to lock myself into a stall to ensure more privacy when changing my pod. Absolutely not. Sure, it would mean that I had the stall door blocking me from view, but it also meant I’d have to change my pod without a table in front of me to put my supplies on, and I wasn’t about to do that because it would virtually guarantee that I drop something on the unsanitary bathroom floor – or worst-case scenario, maybe even break my vial of insulin. I wasn’t about to risk that, so I set about changing my pod at the bathroom sink, keeping my fingers and toes crossed the entire time that nobody would walk in while I was at any stage of the process.
My mission was accomplished; a few moments later, I was rocking a brand-new pod and also marveling over how something fairly mundane (because I do it every 72 hours or so) could cause me such anxiety and make me feel self-conscious about needing to do this medically necessary routine in public. I’m not accustomed to feeling odd about my pod and the maintenance actions I take to keep it running smoothly – and to keep myself healthy, to boot – but there’s a solid, highly realistic chance that I’ll have to publicly change my pod again in the future. Hopefully, I can work on it so that changing my pod, whether within the walls of my own home or in the most public of locations, is something that I feel normal about doing, and worry less about whether or not people are judging me over it.