Tag: nerves

Travel Time

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Tomorrow, I’m boarding a plane again for the first time in more than a year and a half.

I’m having some feelings about it.

According to my calculations, it’s been 629 days since I last boarded a plane. That’s wild considering I used to fly a couple times a month in 2019.

The primary feeling is excitement. I’ve missed traveling – not the flying part – but I’ve missed the opportunity to see new sights and experience new things. I’ve been extra excited for this trip because my partner and I are both going to California for the first time for a friend’s wedding, so we definitely have a lot to look forward to regarding our plans.

But the secondary feeling is anxiety. A whole lot of it. I don’t quite know what to expect when it comes to traveling in this weird, not-so-new normal we’ve got going on. The only thing I do know is that I’m going to take as many precautions as possible (including masking up, carrying hand sanitizer, eating outdoors whenever possible, etc.) and try my best to quell my anxieties by taking comfort in knowing that I’m doing what I can to protect myself and others.

Of course, it’s easier said than done to conquer these anxious thoughts, and my pre-existing worries about traveling with diabetes complicate matters. For example, I’ve always had concerns about managing my blood sugars on flights. I’ve never been on one this long before (it’ll be about 6 hours), so I’m a bit stressed about that. Other pain points linger in the back of my mind: What will I do about meals? Will I have enough back-up supplies? Will I remember all my devices (and their respective charging cables)? Are my nerves going to drive my partner bananas? (He’s the most patient person I’ve ever met so I will be putting that to the test on this trip!)

So staying healthy and well, in addition to making sure I take good care of my diabetes, are top of mind. It makes me long for the days when getting from point A to point B was the most pressing part of planning a trip…

Through writing this blog post, though, I think I’ve come to realize that I’ve got to keep a third thing top of mind: having fun. The first two things are obviously important, but so is enjoying every minute of this vacation.

And that’s exactly what I plan to do.

Why Meeting a New Endocrinologist is Scarier Than Going on a First Date

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I have an appointment with my endocrinologist today. Or should I say, the person who I hope is my new endocrinologist. I really want this patient-doctor relationship to work out!

It’s my first new endocrinologist in about ten years and I am effing nervous. It’s comparable to going out on a first date with someone, only I’m not hoping to be wooed with flowers or treated to a fancy meal.

I’m hoping that this person is someone I can trust with my health…which I value a lot more than any of the associated costs of a first date.

Why Meeting a New Endocrinologist is Scarier Than Going on a First Date
There are higher stakes with a new endocrinologist than with a new dating-app match.

Why is this new doctor terrifying to me? For starters, I have so many questions. What if she doesn’t like me? What if I don’t like her? What if she judges me? What if she’s too lenient? What if…? The list goes on and on.

Plus, I’m seeing her after smack dab in the middle of holiday celebrations, also known as the most turbulent time of the year for me and my blood sugars. I’ve had so many highs in the last month that I’ve tried to stay on top of, but she’s bound to notice them and ask me if this is a regular thing for me. It’s also pretty likely that my weight has gone up as a result of the many indulgences I’ve enjoyed in the last few weeks, and I’m worried about whether comments will be made on that.

Not to mention that I haven’t seen an endocrinologist since…late August, I think? And that appointment was with my “old” doctor, who left to practice somewhere far, far away. It was a bittersweet parting, and it wasn’t on amicable terms because neither of us was ready for it to be over. So I’m heading into a new potential endocrinologist relationship with that in my mind, and my new doctor has a lot to live up to when compared with my old doctor.

I just want everything to go well. I know that if it’s not a perfect fit, it’ll be pretty evident straightaway, and I can seek another new endocrinologist. But to continue with the dating metaphor, it’s not as easy as just swiping along and seeing what other nearby options I have. There are other concerns beyond location: I need to make sure my doctor can accept my insurance, on top of them being likable, knowledgable, and eager to help me manage my diabetes. It might be surprising to learn that this particular combination is a tall order, but again, when it comes to my health I refuse to just settle.

Fingers crossed, it’s a match from the start and all of my concerns will be rendered invalid late this afternoon at the conclusion of my appointment…