As I approach my 25th diabetes diagnosis anniversary (coming up this Christmas Eve), I marvel over how much I continue to constantly learn about my chronic condition.
You might think that I should be an expert after all this time, but that’s definitely not true. Sure, there are many predictable aspects about diabetes by this stage in the game. I’ve learned how to read my body’s signals. I’ve got a good grip on the mundane parts of diabetes management (e.g., changing my sites, reacting and treating various blood sugar levels, exercising with diabetes without wild blood sugar oscillations, and so forth). I know quite a bit about diabetes technology, even the kinds that I’ve never used before (and I attribute much of this knowledge to my friends and coworkers with diabetes, as well as the fact that I have an inside scoop on a lot of this stuff because I work in the diabetes sector).
But this doesn’t mean I’ve learned all there is to know about diabetes, the terminology that defines it, the research that is being conducted about it, or the innovations that are consistently occurring when it comes to technologies and therapies.
A good example of this? I heard the acronym “FNIR” for the first time the other day when I was at work. A clinician was breaking it down as standing for “flat, narrow, and in range”, which is a pattern that can be visible on a CGM device that indicates tight control over blood sugar levels. My mind was kind of blown when I heard this; while the concept itself isn’t revolutionary, I had no idea that doctors had actually defined the phenomenon. This might seem like an insignificant example about learning something new; but on the contrary, it’s major to me because it’s something I hope to achieve on a daily basis (literally) – I just didn’t have the words myself for it. Now that I know it, I’d like to be able to use it during my upcoming endocrinology appointment as a tool to describe to my doctor that I want her help getting an FNIR graph more often.
Constantly learning can be tiresome at times, but it just goes to show that it’s good for me because all roads point down a better understanding of my diabetes – something that I will always want and always shoot for.
This past week, I attended my very first virtual diabetes conference: the 2020 Friends for Life Orlando conference, hosted by the Children with Diabetes (CWD) organization.
Before I recap my experience, I’ve got to give a heartfelt round of applause to every single individual involved in the process of turning this in-person event into a virtual one. Between figuring out the technology and adapting the program to make sense in an online format, I’m sure it wasn’t easy, but the CWD staff and many volunteers made it appear seamless. While every conference attendee (myself included) would have loved to see each other in real life in Orlando for this event, it was the right (safest) call to make this conference a digital one. And the majorly bright side of doing the conference online was that more people were able to attend *for free* – literally thousands of people! Each state in America was represented, as well as dozens of countries. The massive turnout makes me happy as I think about how much more accessible this particular conference was to people with diabetes and their families around the world.
Moving along to…the actual conference!
It ran from Wednesday, July 14th through Sunday, July 19th. Given that I was away with my family for the duration of the conference, I knew going into it that there was no way I would be able to attend every session or social event. (I was by the beach for a week, so when given the choice between staying indoors or logging onto my laptop…need I say more?). However, I also learned pretty quickly that many of the sessions were going to be recorded and made available at a later date (along with a report summarizing the conference, which will be ready on the CWD site in early August)…so there’s a good chance I’ll refer to some of those recordings for the sessions I missed.
But in terms of the handful of sessions that I did make it to, there were some major takeaways I got from them. Here’s what I learned:
#1: There are some important steps that I (and the rest of the diabetes online community) can take in order to address underrepresentation within our community. In the last few months, issues of underrepresentation of people of color within our diabetes online community has gained overdue attention. Individuals and organizations are working hard to address this and make everyone’s voices equally heard. However, I’m sure that I’m not the only person who felt helpless when trying to figure out how I, as just one person, can make a tangible difference. During one of the conference sessions that I attended, I learned that there are actual a few simple steps that I can take that will make a big impact over time: Follow social media accounts run by people of color. Amplify their voices by sharing and highlighting their content. Support and listen to their experiences as non-white individuals with (and without) diabetes. The bottom line is that everyone deserves to have their voice heard, no matter what, and our community must come together in order to help make this happen. It’s an uncomfortable truth that these representation issues exist, but it’s one worth acknowledging and doing everything within our power to fix it.
#2: Diabetes care and management comes in many different formats, and what works best for one person should always be respected. Of course, I’ve always known and believed in this, but this notion was reinforced for me during one of the sessions that I attended. I can’t remember the exact context, but it was brought up that sometimes people who choose to manage diabetes with multiple daily injections (MDI) take a little heat from people who use insulin pumps. In other words, those who prefer MDI might get pestered and questioned by this choice, which is unfair because it’s a very personal one. It reminded me of how I refused to even contemplate an insulin pump for nearly two decades of life with diabetes – I was so ardently against them for no real reason other than I just preferred my MDI regimen. But then when I did switch to a pump, I was instantly converted and I can’t really imagine going back to MDI. So when I saw a lot of MDI-ers reminding the rest of us that pumps aren’t for everyone, I remembered that diabetes care and management tools aren’t always high-tech (and that doesn’t make them any less effective) and that devices shouldn’t be pushed onto those who get by just fine the old-school way. At the end of the day, we’re all doing our best to take care of our diabetes in the way that’s right for us, and we should always remember that we’re in the fight together.
#3: Our community is strong, resilient, and adaptable – the virtual format didn’t put a damper on anyone’s enthusiasm. It was truly incredible to see how much energy every speaker, staff member, and attendee had for the event. You could practically feel it radiating through the computer screen in some of the sessions! Diabetes forces us to make decisions that are tough sometimes. It throws curve balls in our paths and we must find a way to deal with them, and we always do. This collective tenacity totally translated to this conference as we embraced the virtual format. It was heartwarming to see photos all across social media throughout the five days from attendees and speakers alike showing snippets of their at-home conference experiences, and I loved how everyone had so much spirit for the event. I admit that I even got up and danced (to several songs) when we had our virtual banquet on Thursday night. I gladly draped the tablecloth and fairy lights I got in my BoFFL (Box of Friends for Life, a package I got in the mail last month containing swag from conference sponsors that was available to the first 500 conference registrants) to really set the mood as I ate dinner “with” diabetes community members across the country and ’round the world…and smiled widely because my T1D mom was able to experience it with me for the first time.
So yes, while it’s a bummer that I didn’t get to hug so many of my friends from the diabetes online community or meet new ones for the first time in-person, I’d say that the virtual conference exceeded my expectations in terms of what it delivered using the available technological resources and passion from the community. Hats off to the sponsors for doing what they could to really engage attendees, and another extra-special kudos to the staff, volunteers, and speakers who pulled off yet another amazing conference.
It just makes my anticipation for the next in-person one that much greater, knowing how wonderful it will be to see everyone in-person again.
I’m not sure that I’ll ever fully be at peace with my diabetes.
I have days when I hate it a little less, sure. I even have days when it doesn’t bother me at all. But true acceptance of my diabetes? I used to think I had it…not anymore. In 22 years, there’s just been too many times that I’ve detested every aspect about life with diabetes: the painful shots/needles, the constant planning, the many doctors appointments, the countless hours of sleep lost, the amount of money that goes into caring for it…the list could go on and on.
I know, I know…this all sounds extremely negative. It’s a little unlike me. But let me tell you what, instead of forcing myself to unequivocally accept my diabetes, I’m learning how to be what I’ll call “chronically chill” with it. It’s a bit of a play on words, you see. Diabetes is considered a chronic illness (I prefer to think of it as a condition; to me, “illness” has an ickier connotation). By definition, the word chronic means long-standing or permanent, and I’ll always have diabetes. So it’s about time that I start to be chronically chill – persistently cool, relentlessly alright-fine-I-get-it-you’re-not-going-away-any-time-soon – with my diabetes.
To me, this is different than accepting it. Others might disagree, which is totally fine, but I think that accepting diabetes means hugging it warmly, with open arms. I don’t want to do that. Rather, I want to get to a place where I can be just…fine with my diabetes. Just let it coexist with me. I never want it to get to the best of me, but I also don’t want it to think that it can stay with me forever. I guess it’s the optimist in me that still thinks a cure is right around the corner.
How am I going about this process of being chronically chill? I’m taking it a day at a time. I’m trying to not get bogged down so much by the small things. I’m trying (and this is super mega hard for someone like me) to come to terms with the fact that I can’t have control over everything in my life. I’m trying to focus more on things like time in range versus my A1c. I’m trying all of this at once, and I believe that it will help me achieve the chronically chill status I’ve described.
And if the process goes more slowly than I want it to, I’ll just refer to the above photo of me on the beach from time to time…because it’s hard to find a place where I’m more chill – my most serene self – than when I’m near the sand and surf.