Dealing with Loneliness and Diabetes During a Global Pandemic

If I was an old-timey sailor keeping a log on my voyage across the ocean right now, I imagine that my entry for today would look a little something like this:

Quarantine, Day #55: It’s been almost two full months since I’ve set foot outside of the confines of my home. I’m so appreciative of the little things, like good weather days and food to sustain me, but I never realized how much I would miss face-to-face interaction with human beings. I miss everyone: my extended family, my friends, my coworkers. I miss people who are physically close by and far away from me. I miss strangers. No wonder all the rum is gone, me hearties!

Okay, so that last line is a bit of a stretch, but you get the gist of it.

The times and the circumstances are making me (and many others) feel a unique sense of loneliness.

Yes, I’m lucky enough to be quarantined with people and a dog who love me. I don’t take that granted for a second, nor do I want to forget how fortunate I am to have so many things that others do not (ample food, clothing, Internet access, entertainment options, etc.).

Still, I’ve felt deep, dark pangs of loneliness and sadness a handful of times since my quarantine began.

Dealing with Loneliness and Diabetes During a Global Pandemic
This whole situation has made me rather introspective.

I’ve felt profound sadness for others: My heart aches for anyone who has lost a loved one due to this wretched thing. I constantly worry about the physical and mental health of those on the front lines of it all and wish there was more I could do.

I’ve felt isolated from my loved ones: Sure, I have video chat and texting and those are excellent ways of keeping in touch with people. But it doesn’t compare to the in-person connection that I have with my extended family, friends, coworkers, and others in general.

In my most melancholy moments, I’ve cried ugly tears that I couldn’t control because I can’t find the words and I can’t even fully understand my own feelings in those fleeting periods.

Is it disgust at myself for crying in the first place when I don’t really have anything to cry over because I am a gainfully employed individual who has access to her medication and other living essentials?

Is it frustration at myself for allowing myself to be dragged down by my conflicting emotions?

Is it anger over taking the little things for granted or for this whole situation, in general?

Is it grief over the many life changes I’ve faced in the last year? A longing for the way things were before?

I don’t know the answers to those questions, but I do know that the waves of loneliness I’ve ridden in the last six weeks (and are bound to continue to ride occasionally) have directly impacted my diabetes.

I’m going to be real with myself (and you) for a hot second here: I haven’t taken particularly excellent care of myself in all this. My eating habits have changed. I’ve spent more time knocking down my body and its appearance than appreciating it for what it is. And I’ve berated myself over and over again, asking myself why I can’t just get my shit together and produce better blood sugars, dammit.

So…how exactly am I going to change this? How can I make my thoughts and feelings about myself and my diabetes healthier when I’m already struggling with loneliness during a global pandemic?

I think the answer, for now, is simple but effective: I’m going to work harder at keeping a routine that incorporates setting and achieving small but meaningful goals each week. I’m going to follow the tried-and-true SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-based) goal-setting formula and more importantly, I’ll take the time to actually write them down. I may share them here sometimes, but I think I should also be consistent and capture them in some sort of journal that is only for my eyes. Writing in a journal may seem silly to some, but after seeing some posts on Instagram about the benefits of doing so and talking with a few friends who actively maintain journals…I think it’s just what I need right now, in tandem with leaning a little harder into my various support networks during those particularly blue moments.

Plus, gentle reminders to myself that even though I may feel on my own when it comes to my diabetes and other roller coaster emotions during this global pandemic, I’m never truly alone. And neither are you.

 

Setting and Sharing Diabetes Goals

It’s November 29th which means it’s day 29 of the Happy Diabetic Challenge! Today’s prompt is about diabetes goals. I decided to use this as an opportunity to share and set my diabetes goals as National Diabetes Awareness Month draws to a close…

Goal-setting sounds like an ambitious activity. It implies that goals will be met, and we all know that sometimes that just doesn’t happen.

Why? Occasionally, we set goals that are simply unattainable. As an example, let’s pretend that you have a goal to lose weight. Well, if you tell yourself that you can shed 20 pounds by next week, then you’re setting yourself up for failure – ‘cuz it’s unhealthy to lose that weight so quickly, not to mention practically impossible.

But setting a goal to lose those 20 pounds over the course of, let’s say, two months…that’s FAR more realistic. You give yourself a workable time frame in which you can accomplish the goal and you can take small steps each day to work towards it, rather than doing anything extreme or overly difficult in order to meet the goal.

Setting and sharing diabetes goals
It’s always very satisfying when you can say that you’ve met a goal you’ve set.

That’s why they say it’s important to set SMART goals. The acronym stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely. Goals that are set with this criteria in mind are far more likely to become a reality, so with that in mind…I’m going to share and set a few diabetes goals for myself, right now, that I hope to accomplish in the coming months (think of it as an early diabetes-themed list of New Years’ resolutions.)

  • Goal #1 – I’d like to go back to checking my blood sugar with my actual meter at least 4 times per day. I’ve come to rely on my not-always-totally-reliable Dexcom a little too much. And since I have a well-stocked stash of test strips, I figure that it makes sense to use them before and after each meal, as well as when I’m not sure about my Dexcom’s readings.
  • Goal #2 – Change my lancet weekly, instead of monthly…ish. This is the other underused diabetes supply in my possession. As long as I decide on a particular day and time to do this quick little task, then I think it’ll be easy to follow through week after week.
  • Goal #3 – Stop snacking on “free” foods. I need to get it through my semi-thick skull that there’s no such thing as free foods when it comes to diabetes! I used to be able to eat a short stack of crackers, a handful of popcorn, or a bite-size piece of chocolate at any hour of the day and notice a very minimal bump in my blood sugar levels. This sure isn’t the case these days, and I want to set myself up for success by making sure that when snack cravings strike, I have plenty of water or gum on hand to help distract from faux-hunger pangs.

These goals may seem very minor to you, but for me, they’re all examples of some things that I truly think I need to address when it comes to my diabetes care and management. And the fact that they are “easy” makes them that much more attainable: It won’t take much for me to incorporate them into my routine, but over time, I’m bound to notice a difference (especially when it comes to that last goal).

Also, I think it’s wise to avoid setting overly ambitious goal – at least for the time being – because I’m not seeing an endocrinologist again for another month. When I do have that appointment, I’ll have a much clearer picture of what my diabetes goals should be as we approach 2020, and I can go about formulating a plan as to how to pursue them.

And on that note, this blog post wraps up the Happy Diabetic Challenge posts on my blog for National Diabetes Awareness Month 2019. I hope you enjoyed them, learned from them, or at least got to thinking more about your own diabetes as a result of reading them. I’m proud of myself for sticking with the challenge for the month, but boy, was it an exhausting 30 days of nonstop diabetes advocacy! I’m looking forward to December: It’ll be a nice change of pace to slow down and appreciate time spent with loved ones throughout the holiday season. I’ll still be blogging regularly throughout the month, just a little less intensely.

Hoping you had a wonderful Thanksgiving no matter how you chose to spend it, and wishing you continued success with your diabetes as the holiday season gets into full swing.