Tag: diablog

14 Words That Describe how Glucose Tablets Taste

mollyt1d2 Comments

My shaky hands pop the lid off the tube of glucose tablets. A puff of dust floats out from the tube – a cloud of sugary residue from the ten tablets stacked neatly on top of each other. A friend watches me remove two tablets. Unfazed by their gaze, I chew them quickly, knowing that they’ll kick in soon and give my blood sugar the boost it needs. My friend waits until I’ve put the tube away to ask me what glucose tablets taste like.

AFD07A7A-7992-4D25-80CA-04D808E51080
Ugh…I can practically taste the sugar dust by just looking at this photo.

This exact scenario has unfolded a number of times over my years with diabetes. I don’t know why people are so fascinated by glucose tablets and their taste. Is it because I describe them as sugar pills? Is it something about the way they’re encased so tidily and conveniently? Do the pastel colors look especially appetizing to some people?

Whatever the case may be, I’ll put an end to all the curiosity surrounding glucose tablets right here, right now. Here’s my list of 14 words that describe the taste and texture of “magic sugar pills”, also known as glucose tablets.

  1. Chalky.
  2. Dusty.
  3. Artificial.
  4. Dry.
  5. Fruity.
  6. Slightly medicinal.
  7. Mildly acidic.
  8. Sweet.
  9. Brittle.
  10. Dissoluble.
  11. Powdery.
  12. Tangy.
  13. Stale.
  14. Crumbly.

So based on those descriptors…do they still sound remotely appetizing…? Probably not. Though I didn’t use the most flattering language to describe them, they’re still responsible for saving my butt – literally – countless times. And for that, I can forgive glucose tablets for not being the most palatable things.

Memory Monday: My Lowest Low Blood Sugar

mollyt1d1 Comment

One Monday per month, I’ll take a trip down memory lane and reflect on how much my diabetes thoughts, feelings, and experiences have unfolded over the years. Today, I remember…

…the lowest low blood sugar that I ever experienced. So low, in fact, that I never actually found out how low it reached. Scary stuff.

lost in stockholm

Admittedly, my memory’s a little fuzzy when it comes to recollecting what exactly happened, but here’s what I remember: It was my sophomore or junior year of high school. I woke up in the morning and checked my blood sugar – or so I thought. In reality, I think I imagined checking my blood sugar, or perhaps I went through the motions of doing it without actually getting a reading.

Regardless, I made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen, where I encountered my mother. I told her that I wanted “special cake”.

I remember her looking at me with worried eyes and asking me what I was saying. All I can recall is that I asked for special cake two or three more times before getting totally frustrated with her. How could she not understand my request for Special K cereal?

That’s right, in my stupor, I thought I was saying that I wanted Special K cereal for breakfast. But I didn’t realize that my low blood sugar was causing me to slur so badly that my words weren’t coming out clearly.

I vaguely remember my mom’s panicked reaction as she figured out that I must be experiencing a low. I think she asked me what my blood sugar was, and when I couldn’t tell her because I didn’t remember, she knew it was time to force some orange juice down my throat. I was conscious for that, but it’s like it was erased from my memory – I have no recollection of drinking the juice or what the moments after that were like.

I wound up going to school late that morning, only to have to go home less than halfway through the day. My low “hangover” was so bad that I felt nauseous in my classes and couldn’t concentrate on the lessons.

Obviously, I fully recovered from the incident. Even though my memory is shoddy at best when it comes to remembering the whole experience, the mere fragments that I can recall are enough to make me scared to ever go through something like that again. It’s a reminder that diabetes can be terrifying, but living with it is a reality that I have no choice but to accept – fears and all.

Rolling with the Punches (and the High Blood Sugar)

mollyt1dLeave a comment

I just wanted a nice dinner out on New Year’s Eve…but diabetes – or rather, my diabetes devices – had another plan in mind.

You see, that’s when my brand-new pod decided to stop working properly, leaving me no choice but to deliver insulin via syringe in the middle of a fancy restaurant.

Hence, my unamused expression in the following photo.

6f688e1c-9a27-4e6a-a48a-1b781f3c1285.png
Shooting up like the diabadass I am.

On the one hand, it was irritating to deal with, especially since my malfunctioning pod delivered high blood sugar to me in lieu of insulin. But on the other hand, what else could I do except roll with the punches? After all, it was New Year’s Eve – the final night of 2018. I was NOT about to allow diabetes to ruin it for me.

So I left my frustration and dismay at my high blood sugars at home, where I first realized there might be something wrong with my pod, and did my best to maintain an upbeat attitude throughout dinner. Yes, I was checking my CGM often, but I also remained engaged in conversation with my dinner companions (thanks for that meal, Mom and Dad). I took comfort in the knowledge that I was prepared with a vial of insulin and syringes should my blood sugar stay high in spite of my aggressive boluses. And when it did indeed climb into the 300s, I calmly set down my fork and knife, fished a syringe and my insulin from my backpack, drew up eight units, and rolled up my sleeve to inject right then and there. It felt kind of weird to “shoot up” in the middle of the dining establishment, but I didn’t have much of a choice. I could’ve gone to the restroom, but I knew that the lighting would be bad – at least I could have assistance from my parents by injecting at the table (again, thanks Mom and Dad, the cell phone lights came in clutch in this situation).

As I pushed down on the syringe’s plunger, I vaguely wondered whether any restaurant patrons were watching and wondering what the actual eff I was doing. I was self-conscious about it for a hot second, but I got over it because I knew I was doing what needed to be done.

I was rolling with the punches, high blood sugar and all, because it was the best thing to do for my body and my mind. Plus, I really got to stick it to my diabetes by refusing to let it spoil my night, and to me, that was much sweeter than the cheesecake my mom and I split for dessert.

The Possible Pod Failure, or “Do You Hear What I Hear?”

mollyt1dLeave a comment

Judging by the title of this blog post, you might assume that I’m rewriting yet another Christmas song to make it about diabetes. Well, I’m here to tell you that is false – no more Christmas carol transformations for me! (At least, not until Christmas 2019.)

Rather, this post is all about an odd, kind of silly thing that happened to my mother and I when we were out on a walk with Clarence, my parents’ dog.

We both heard a high-pitched beeping coming from…somewhere.

We exchanged glances and my mom asked me if I heard that sound. I nodded, and we both sighed as we fished through our pockets for our PDMs. That’s because we both just knew that one of us was experiencing a pod failure, and that the pressing of a couple buttons would reveal who was about to become extremely annoyed.

FDCCCFA1-DF84-4419-9CCA-B332C4CCF0AD
My walking buddies, moments after the false alarm.

But both of our PDMs indicated that our pods were working just fine. Bemused, she told me that sometimes her PDM won’t recognize the pod failure right away, and it will be the pod itself that emits the beep-of-dread. So I started lifting up layers of my heavy winter clothing to see if my pod was making the sound, while she briefly stopped walking to listen closer to her pod.

After our careful scrutiny, we determined that…

…the beeping sound was actually someone using a weed whacker or some other piece of lawn-care equipment in the distance. Oops.

We continued our walk, chuckling a bit about it while Clarence pranced along in between us. It was a relief to know that we wouldn’t have to scramble home so one of us could take out insulin and a fresh pod to apply as soon as possible.

What’s the point of sharing this little vignette? To show that diabetes is such a significant part of our lives, always one of our first thoughts, even in the most mundane cases. It also illustrates how volatile diabetes can be – just like that, a random beep can change the course of the day and determine your next series of actions.

Just some food for thought, all triggered by a (literally) false alarm.

 

My T1D New Year’s Resolutions

mollyt1d2 Comments

New Year’s resolutions are kinda tacky and silly, especially ones that are broken three weeks into a new year. Even so, I like to put a little thought into how I can better myself when a new year begins, so I guess I’m the sort of person who (somewhat grudgingly) tries to make a commitment to some form of self-improvement around this time each year.

Happy New Year!
Are you making any New Year’s resolutions?

While some of my resolutions are going to remain private, I’d like to share others – specifically, my diabetes-related ones – here because I think it’ll be the first step in making them a reality in 2019. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far, along with some explanations why they’re my goals so far:

  1. Improve my A1c – This is kind of a cop-out resolution, because let’s face it, a better A1c will never not be a goal of mine. I’m in a better range now than I was a few years ago, which is a huge accomplishment in itself. But I know I can do more, and I have the drive and desire to get myself below 6.5 this year.
  2. Make time for more IRL T1D hangouts/meet more T1Ds – I can’t be the only one who scrolls through Instagram and feels pangs of jealousy when I come across photos of large groups of T1Ds hanging out, right?? A significant percentage of these hangouts are the result of T1D conferences, which I’m rarely able to attend. They either cost too much money or take place at an inconvenient time, so I’m forced to miss out on some valuable face-to-face time with people who understand me in a unique way. It’s definitely a bad case of FOMO. As a result, I want to be proactive and try to arrange more meetups in my area in the next year.
  3. Incorporate more self-care into my routine – 2018 was such an insanely busy year. I felt that, at times, I was getting pulled into too many directions and had obligations to so many people that I could barely keep up, let alone make any time for myself to catch my breath. I had days here and there where I could sneak away for an hour or two and treat myself to a massage or exercise at the gym, but I really didn’t have a single mental health day in which I unplugged from everything and kicked back. Though I know 2019 will be just as hectic, if not more than 2018, I still want to be sure to make more time for myself, even if it is just for five or ten minutes a day.

Now that I’ve shared my resolutions, I feel like that will hold me accountable for making a good-faith effort in accomplishing them. And I also feel that they will be good things for me to write about throughout the next year, so I can keep both my audience and myself informed of my progress.

And with that, it’s my final blog post of 2018. Here’s to 2019, a year that will be filled with plenty more content from Hugging the Cactus. To you, my readers, I wish you a healthy and happy new year!

Diabetes Fake News: Make it Stop!

mollyt1d2 Comments

Wanna know something that blows my mind? It’s the fact that way, way too many people in this world truly believe that diabetes can be “cured” naturally with at-home remedies.

Let me say it LOUDLY so the people in the back can hear: THERE IS NO CURE FOR DIABETES.

(Yet, anyways.)

But remarkably, I still see plenty of memes and infographics shared all across social media that promote this false ideology. It needs to stop! It’s harmful when others share fake diabetes information, for a couple of reasons: 1) It promotes misinformation, making diabetes that much more confusing and misunderstood by those unfamiliar with it and 2) it gives false hope to someone who may be emotionally vulnerable when it comes to diabetes.

Happy New Year!

So, with that in mind, please stop sharing fake diabetes cures that suggest that PWD incorporate the following into their diets to “cure” diabetes:

  • Cinnamon
  • Okra
  • Avocado
  • Ginseng
  • Lemon water
  • Aloe vera
  • LITERALLY ANY FOODS OR HERBS
  • Any sort of snake oil miracle drug

Instead, consider the facts:

  • Diabetes does not have a cure. While it can be managed with insulin (injected) or oral medication, there is still no cure for it.
  • It requires daily monitoring.
  • There are foods that might be considered better choices compared to others for some people with diabetes, but there is NO food out there that will control or cure diabetes.
  • Diabetes is not a one-size-fits-all condition. Each person with diabetes is different and uses different methods to deal with diabetes. As a result, there’s no true “right” or “wrong” way to manage it, a PWD merely does what’s best for that individual, alone.

The end of the story, bottom line, crux-of-the-matter: Make fake diabetes news stop.

Diabetes, Diets, and Holidays are Naughty, Not Nice

mollyt1dLeave a comment

Ahh, the holiday season…it’s been in full swing for just about a month now, and with that arrived a bevy of parties, potlucks, and poor dietary decisions. In a week, the new year will be here and it’ll bring a fresh start with it, but for now…I’m trying to find a way to make peace with all the indulgences I’ve enjoyed in the last several weeks.

Takeout Chinese food, pizza, homemade roasts, and baked goods galore are among the gamut of glutinous grub responsible for transforming me into a guilty gourmand over the course of the holidays. (Can I get a round of applause for that alliterative sentence?) I wish I could say that I had the willpower to resist the temptation of these foods that have been provided at the various holiday parties I’ve attended; alas, I couldn’t stop myself from noshing on them just as much as the other guests at these gatherings. A fair share of my fellow party attendees commiserated with me about diets flying out the window this time of year, but very few of them could understand that the fattening fare impacts more than just my waistline.

My blood sugars, of course, have been a victim of holiday feasting just as much as my size six jeans.

Feel the joy!
Instead of sugarplums, I’ve got visions of wacky blood sugars and too-tight pants dancing in my head. Fun!!!

Truthfully, they’re not as terrible as they’ve been during past holiday seasons. But that doesn’t mean I’m satisfied with them, or okay with the fact that they tend to rise and crash at equally rapid paces when I eat too much of the carb-y stuff and correct accordingly with insulin. The roller coaster ride combined with the feeling that I’m turning into the Pillsbury dough girl is what I’m fed up with, and I’m trying to figure out a way to stop punishing myself for it. After all, a new year IS right around the corner, and like many others in the world, I can and should use it as a reason to start eating more mindfully and healthfully, leaving the dietary mistakes of 2018 in the past.

It’s definitely cliche, but I’ve got to get back into the routine and replace all the cookies and fancy chocolates I’ve been consuming with leafy veggies and lean proteins. It won’t be easy, but I know that it’ll be worth the improved blood sugars and looser pants that are bound to follow.

 

My 21st Diaversary

mollyt1d2 Comments

Today, Christmas Eve, is my 21st diaversary. That right, my diabetes is officially “legal”. You can bet that I’ll be celebrating with a special shot tonight – and no, I’m not talking about the insulin kind of shot.

Last year, I wrote about the sheer joy I felt as I hit my 20th diaversary. While I certainly do feel joyful this time of year as I greet another diabetes milestone (and because I’m wrapped up in the spirit of the season), I also can’t help but feel a pang of sadness.

The fact of the matter is, I’ve lived with diabetes for 84% of my life. And that’s a hard pill to swallow.

Happy birthday to you!
A birthday card to my diabetes.

I dream of a single day of normalcy. I want a day in my adult life in which diabetes isn’t at the forefront of my mind. Sure, I had just over a thousand days like that in my childhood…but the thing is, I don’t remember them. So they don’t count.

What I would give to have a solid, 24-hour stretch in which I don’t have to feel pricks from needles or hear buzzing, beeping devices. I wouldn’t have to feel as anxious about my blood sugars as I do on most days, and I would eat whatever the hell I wanted without a care in the world.

It sounds like a small ask, one day without diabetes, but at this stage in the game, it’d just be miraculous.

So on this day that is doubly special to me, I’m accepting that I feel a bit more negative than I did last year. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, it feels good to admit it, rather than force myself to write a bubbly blog post that simply celebrates 21 years of diabetes.

I’ll celebrate my own way today and enjoy the most wonderful time of the year, knowing that my little diabetes funk will pass on its own.

With that said, dear readers, I wish you a fantastic Christmas. Spend the day doing whatever brings your hearts happiness, and remember to take care of yourselves.

Must Be Hypo, Super Low

mollyt1dLeave a comment

Today’s blog post is part 2 of my re-imagining of two classic Christmas carols! Last week’s rendition was all about high blood sugar, so of course, this week has to be about the opposite: low blood sugar, also known as hypos!

This blog post is for my extended family, who will simultaneously appreciate and cringe at my spin on the holiday classic, “Must Be Santa”. Unfamiliar with the tune? Click this link to listen to the original, and maybe even sing along using my oh-so creative lyrics, below!

Must be hypo, super low
Must be Santa – I mean, hypo.

Must be Hypo

Who’s got a blood sugar that’s dropping quick?
I’ve got a blood sugar dropping quick
Who needs a juice box to do the trick?
I need a juice box to do the trick
Dropping quick, do the trick
Must be hypo, must be hypo
Must be hypo, super low
Who’s got too much insulin on board?
I’ve got too much insulin on board
Who has a massive candy hoard?
I have a massive candy hoard
Insulin on board, candy hoard
Dropping quick, do the trick
Must be hypo, must be hypo
Must be hypo, super low
Who’s got a red sweaty face that glows?
I’ve got a red sweaty face that glows
Who is cursing at their CGM, “no, no, no!”
I’m cursing at my CGM, “no, no, no!”
No, no, no, face that glows
Insulin on board, candy hoard
Dropping quick, do the trick
Must be hypo, must be hypo
Must be hypo, super low
Who very soon will come back up?
I very soon will come back up
15 carbs, perhaps a Reese’s cup?
I ate 15 carbs, thanks to my Reese’s cup
Reese’s cup, come back up
No, no, no, face that glows
Insulin on board, candy hoard
Dropping quick, do the trick
Must be hypo, must be hypo
Must be hypo, super low
Must be hypo, must be hypo
Must be hypo, super low
Must be hypo, must be hypo
Must be hypo, super low

 

Don’t Feel Sorry About my Diabetes

mollyt1d1 Comment

Today’s blog post is going to be short and sweet, and about a subject that I think every person with diabetes deals with whenever they tell someone new about their diabetes.

It doesn’t matter how diabetes comes up in conversation. Whether it’s in a joking, serious, educational, happy, sad, or angry manner, the person I’m talking to almost always says…

“I’m sorry.”

Capture
I’m not sorry that I have diabetes, so you shouldn’t be, either.

Sometimes, I think it’s because society has instilled this weird reflex in people to apologize for something that they didn’t do. Other times, I think it’s because people just don’t know how else to respond to something that may be sobering or grounded in reality. But the simple fact of the matter is…

People need to stop apologizing to me, and other people with diabetes, for having it.

Here’s why:

  1. It doesn’t make sense.
  2. We weren’t given a choice – it’s a simple truth that we’ve learned to accept.
  3. It makes me feel strange, because it’s almost like the other person is taking accountability for my diabetes.
  4. I believe that human beings apologize too much, in general, and it diminishes apologies when they matter most or are most sincere.
  5. I’m not sorry that I have diabetes, so why should someone else be?

While I genuinely empathize with and appreciate people who apologize as a knee-jerk response, I’m just here to gently tell them that it isn’t necessary. Save “I’m sorry” for times that it’s warranted, and not for something like having diabetes, a matter in which no one has a choice.