Rolling with the Punches (and the High Blood Sugar)

January 4, 2019January 3, 2019 mollyt1dLeave a comment

I just wanted a nice dinner out on New Year’s Eve…but diabetes – or rather, my diabetes devices – had another plan in mind.

You see, that’s when my brand-new pod decided to stop working properly, leaving me no choice but to deliver insulin via syringe in the middle of a fancy restaurant.

Hence, my unamused expression in the following photo.

On the one hand, it was irritating to deal with, especially since my malfunctioning pod delivered high blood sugar to me in lieu of insulin. But on the other hand, what else could I do except roll with the punches? After all, it was New Year’s Eve – the final night of 2018. I was NOT about to allow diabetes to ruin it for me.

So I left my frustration and dismay at my high blood sugars at home, where I first realized there might be something wrong with my pod, and did my best to maintain an upbeat attitude throughout dinner. Yes, I was checking my CGM often, but I also remained engaged in conversation with my dinner companions (thanks for that meal, Mom and Dad). I took comfort in the knowledge that I was prepared with a vial of insulin and syringes should my blood sugar stay high in spite of my aggressive boluses. And when it did indeed climb into the 300s, I calmly set down my fork and knife, fished a syringe and my insulin from my backpack, drew up eight units, and rolled up my sleeve to inject right then and there. It felt kind of weird to “shoot up” in the middle of the dining establishment, but I didn’t have much of a choice. I could’ve gone to the restroom, but I knew that the lighting would be bad – at least I could have assistance from my parents by injecting at the table (again, thanks Mom and Dad, the cell phone lights came in clutch in this situation).

As I pushed down on the syringe’s plunger, I vaguely wondered whether any restaurant patrons were watching and wondering what the actual eff I was doing. I was self-conscious about it for a hot second, but I got over it because I knew I was doing what needed to be done.

I was rolling with the punches, high blood sugar and all, because it was the best thing to do for my body and my mind. Plus, I really got to stick it to my diabetes by refusing to let it spoil my night, and to me, that was much sweeter than the cheesecake my mom and I split for dessert.

My T1D New Year’s Resolutions

December 31, 2018December 27, 2018 mollyt1d2 Comments

New Year’s resolutions are kinda tacky and silly, especially ones that are broken three weeks into a new year. Even so, I like to put a little thought into how I can better myself when a new year begins, so I guess I’m the sort of person who (somewhat grudgingly) tries to make a commitment to some form of self-improvement around this time each year.

Happy New Year! — Are you making any New Year’s resolutions?

While some of my resolutions are going to remain private, I’d like to share others – specifically, my diabetes-related ones – here because I think it’ll be the first step in making them a reality in 2019. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far, along with some explanations why they’re my goals so far:

Improve my A1c – This is kind of a cop-out resolution, because let’s face it, a better A1c will never not be a goal of mine. I’m in a better range now than I was a few years ago, which is a huge accomplishment in itself. But I know I can do more, and I have the drive and desire to get myself below 6.5 this year.
Make time for more IRL T1D hangouts/meet more T1Ds – I can’t be the only one who scrolls through Instagram and feels pangs of jealousy when I come across photos of large groups of T1Ds hanging out, right?? A significant percentage of these hangouts are the result of T1D conferences, which I’m rarely able to attend. They either cost too much money or take place at an inconvenient time, so I’m forced to miss out on some valuable face-to-face time with people who understand me in a unique way. It’s definitely a bad case of FOMO. As a result, I want to be proactive and try to arrange more meetups in my area in the next year.
Incorporate more self-care into my routine – 2018 was such an insanely busy year. I felt that, at times, I was getting pulled into too many directions and had obligations to so many people that I could barely keep up, let alone make any time for myself to catch my breath. I had days here and there where I could sneak away for an hour or two and treat myself to a massage or exercise at the gym, but I really didn’t have a single mental health day in which I unplugged from everything and kicked back. Though I know 2019 will be just as hectic, if not more than 2018, I still want to be sure to make more time for myself, even if it is just for five or ten minutes a day.

Now that I’ve shared my resolutions, I feel like that will hold me accountable for making a good-faith effort in accomplishing them. And I also feel that they will be good things for me to write about throughout the next year, so I can keep both my audience and myself informed of my progress.

And with that, it’s my final blog post of 2018. Here’s to 2019, a year that will be filled with plenty more content from Hugging the Cactus. To you, my readers, I wish you a healthy and happy new year!

Diabetes, Diets, and Holidays are Naughty, Not Nice

December 26, 2018December 20, 2018 mollyt1dLeave a comment

Ahh, the holiday season…it’s been in full swing for just about a month now, and with that arrived a bevy of parties, potlucks, and poor dietary decisions. In a week, the new year will be here and it’ll bring a fresh start with it, but for now…I’m trying to find a way to make peace with all the indulgences I’ve enjoyed in the last several weeks.

Takeout Chinese food, pizza, homemade roasts, and baked goods galore are among the gamut of glutinous grub responsible for transforming me into a guilty gourmand over the course of the holidays. (Can I get a round of applause for that alliterative sentence?) I wish I could say that I had the willpower to resist the temptation of these foods that have been provided at the various holiday parties I’ve attended; alas, I couldn’t stop myself from noshing on them just as much as the other guests at these gatherings. A fair share of my fellow party attendees commiserated with me about diets flying out the window this time of year, but very few of them could understand that the fattening fare impacts more than just my waistline.

My blood sugars, of course, have been a victim of holiday feasting just as much as my size six jeans.

Feel the joy! — Instead of sugarplums, I’ve got visions of wacky blood sugars and too-tight pants dancing in my head. Fun!!!

Truthfully, they’re not as terrible as they’ve been during past holiday seasons. But that doesn’t mean I’m satisfied with them, or okay with the fact that they tend to rise and crash at equally rapid paces when I eat too much of the carb-y stuff and correct accordingly with insulin. The roller coaster ride combined with the feeling that I’m turning into the Pillsbury dough girl is what I’m fed up with, and I’m trying to figure out a way to stop punishing myself for it. After all, a new year IS right around the corner, and like many others in the world, I can and should use it as a reason to start eating more mindfully and healthfully, leaving the dietary mistakes of 2018 in the past.

It’s definitely cliche, but I’ve got to get back into the routine and replace all the cookies and fancy chocolates I’ve been consuming with leafy veggies and lean proteins. It won’t be easy, but I know that it’ll be worth the improved blood sugars and looser pants that are bound to follow.

My 21st Diaversary

December 24, 2018December 18, 2018 mollyt1d2 Comments

Today, Christmas Eve, is my 21st diaversary. That right, my diabetes is officially “legal”. You can bet that I’ll be celebrating with a special shot tonight – and no, I’m not talking about the insulin kind of shot.

Last year, I wrote about the sheer joy I felt as I hit my 20th diaversary. While I certainly do feel joyful this time of year as I greet another diabetes milestone (and because I’m wrapped up in the spirit of the season), I also can’t help but feel a pang of sadness.

The fact of the matter is, I’ve lived with diabetes for 84% of my life. And that’s a hard pill to swallow.

Happy birthday to you! — A birthday card to my diabetes.

I dream of a single day of normalcy. I want a day in my adult life in which diabetes isn’t at the forefront of my mind. Sure, I had just over a thousand days like that in my childhood…but the thing is, I don’t remember them. So they don’t count.

What I would give to have a solid, 24-hour stretch in which I don’t have to feel pricks from needles or hear buzzing, beeping devices. I wouldn’t have to feel as anxious about my blood sugars as I do on most days, and I would eat whatever the hell I wanted without a care in the world.

It sounds like a small ask, one day without diabetes, but at this stage in the game, it’d just be miraculous.

So on this day that is doubly special to me, I’m accepting that I feel a bit more negative than I did last year. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, it feels good to admit it, rather than force myself to write a bubbly blog post that simply celebrates 21 years of diabetes.

I’ll celebrate my own way today and enjoy the most wonderful time of the year, knowing that my little diabetes funk will pass on its own.

With that said, dear readers, I wish you a fantastic Christmas. Spend the day doing whatever brings your hearts happiness, and remember to take care of yourselves.

Must Be Hypo, Super Low

December 19, 2018December 12, 2018 mollyt1dLeave a comment

Today’s blog post is part 2 of my re-imagining of two classic Christmas carols! Last week’s rendition was all about high blood sugar, so of course, this week has to be about the opposite: low blood sugar, also known as hypos!

This blog post is for my extended family, who will simultaneously appreciate and cringe at my spin on the holiday classic, “Must Be Santa”. Unfamiliar with the tune? Click this link to listen to the original, and maybe even sing along using my oh-so creative lyrics, below!

Must be Hypo

Who’s got a blood sugar that’s dropping quick?
I’ve got a blood sugar dropping quick
Who needs a juice box to do the trick?
I need a juice box to do the trick
Dropping quick, do the trick
Must be hypo, must be hypo
Must be hypo, super low

Who’s got too much insulin on board?
I’ve got too much insulin on board
Who has a massive candy hoard?

I have a massive candy hoard

Insulin on board, candy hoard
Dropping quick, do the trick
Must be hypo, must be hypo
Must be hypo, super low

Who’s got a red sweaty face that glows?
I’ve got a red sweaty face that glows
Who is cursing at their CGM, “no, no, no!”
I’m cursing at my CGM, “no, no, no!”

No, no, no, face that glows
Insulin on board, candy hoard
Dropping quick, do the trick
Must be hypo, must be hypo
Must be hypo, super low

Who very soon will come back up?
I very soon will come back up
15 carbs, perhaps a Reese’s cup?

I ate 15 carbs, thanks to my Reese’s cup

Reese’s cup, come back up
No, no, no, face that glows
Insulin on board, candy hoard
Dropping quick, do the trick

Must be hypo, must be hypo
Must be hypo, super low

Christmas Caroling: Diabetes Style

December 14, 2018December 14, 2018 mollyt1dLeave a comment

I love Christmas. And I love Christmas carols. Why not express my love for Christmas carols here, on my diabetes blog, by switching up the words to some Christmas tunes and making them about the ‘betes?

Have a magical Christmas!

Here’s attempt #1 of two to transform a classic Christmas song and make it about diabetes. First up, we’ve got the words to “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town” changed to reflect to something else that comes ’round this time of year…high blood sugar. Oh yes. I can’t be the only one who seems to experience higher blood sugars in the month of December, largely due to the fact that there’s tons of tempting treats to be enjoyed, potlucks to attend, and dinners to savor. So I wanted to recognize that episodes of hyperglycemia may be an unwelcome, but inevitable, aspect of the holiday season by singin’ about it. Because what else are you going to do while you wait for your insulin to kick in?

Without further ado, here’s my rendition of High Blood Sugar’s Comin’ to Town…(please, please, PLEASE sing along to the tune of the original song. It really is so much more fun to read that way!)

High Blood Sugar’s Comin’ to Town

You better carb count,
You better take care
You better have the right amount,
Or else you will swear
High blood sugar’s coming to town
High blood sugar’s coming to town
High blood sugar’s coming to townGrab your glucometer,
Check your bg twice;
Gonna regret eating that cheesecake slice,
High blood sugar’s coming to town
High blood sugar’s coming to town
High blood sugar’s coming to town

It keeps you from sleeping
You’re forced to stay awake
It makes you super thirsty,
So stay hydrated, for goodness sake

With buzzing Dexcoms and beeping pumps,
Beep bop boop and now-I’m-a-grump,
High blood sugar’s coming to town
High blood sugar’s coming to town
High blood sugar’s coming to town

It keeps you from sleeping
You’re forced to stay awake
It makes you super thirsty,
So stay hydrated, for goodness sake
Goodness sake!

(Coming to town)
I’m a busy girl, I’ve got no time to play
I’ve got tons of sweets to enjoy on Christmas day
(High blood sugar’s coming to town)
(Coming to town)
(High blood sugar’s coming to town)
(Coming to town)

Yes, I Can Eat Those Christmas Cookies

December 12, 2018December 11, 2018 mollyt1d1 Comment

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Check out that spread. You’re looking at an assortment of nine different kinds of Christmas cookies, all baked fresh by my mom, aunts, and cousins for our annual cookie swap this past weekend. And I can attest to the fact that each of them were effing delicious.

Now, if you’re thinking that people with diabetes can’t or shouldn’t eat cookies, sweets, or carbs in general…I’m here to (gently) tell you that you’re wrong. It’s a myth, a grain of utmost untruth, that people with diabetes cannot have carbohydrates of the sugary or starchy varieties. It’s fake news, y’all!!!

The FACT of the matter is that people with diabetes don’t have limits on what foods they’re able to eat. But there are matters of condition and preference to take into consideration here. First and foremost, carbs MUST be counted before they’re consumed. This is crucial because it determines how much insulin a T1D must inject. And then things like personal taste, diet, and comfort levels come into play that account for the variations in eating habits among people with diabetes. And that is the reason why you’ll meet some who are low carb, high fat followers, some who do not consume gluten, and others who do not exclude any particular food group from their diet.

I’ve written a bit about this before, so why am I repeating it again? Because it’s worth knowing and accepting that everyone is different. Bodies respond differently to different stimuli, including the foods and insulin we put into them. And whatever works best for someone should be unconditionally tolerated, not judged, by others.

So if I want to eat a bunch of Christmas cookies as part of my Christmastime celebrations, then here’s my friendly reminder that I can – and you bet your bottom dollar that I did, and was very grateful for insulin after doing so.

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6 Holiday Gift Ideas for T1Ds

December 7, 2018December 3, 2018 mollyt1dLeave a comment

Holiday shopping can be hard. Especially if you’ve got a long list of people to shop for, and you’d like to give them thoughtful, practical gifts.

While I don’t have tips and tricks on how to pick out the perfect present for everyone on your list, I do have some ideas as to what you can get that special T1D in your life. The following six items can make fun stocking stuffers or gifts that your beloved T1D is sure to appreciate.

Capture

Pump Peelz – Is your T1D’s meter or pump in need of a makeover? A fresh stack of Pump Peelz can take care of that. Consider stocking up on prints and patterns that your T1D will love. You can even create your own one-of-a-kind design on the Pump Peelz site!
T1D clothing – There are SO MANY styles out there these days, and they’re all extremely creative! Beyond t-shirts, I’ve seen sports bras, leggings, sweatshirts, and dresses all specially designed to either cater to a T1D’s medical gear or raise diabetes awareness. Whether you want to find a style that captures your T1D’s sense of humor or one that they’ll proudly don along with an insulin pump, you’re sure to come across T1D clothing that is funny, functional, and fashionable.
Fun patches and pins – Okay, so maybe your T1D has a more subtle sense of style and doesn’t want to literally wear diabetes on their sleeve. No problem! Perhaps some cute T1D-related patches or pins are more their thing. Personally, I’m a big fan of the ones available on the T1D Lyf shop – they’re absolutely adorable and make a bold statement using a tiny surface.
Myabetic gear – I admit that I went ahead and bought myself an early Christmas gift this year: a frosty pink Myabetic backpack. I’ve started carrying it around instead of a purse and I love it! Myabetic designs all of their wallets, bags, and other gear with diabetes in mind. Every pouch and pocket has a specific purpose that makes carrying diabetes supplies around much easier. I’ve got a Marie crossbody, Banting wallet, and now a Brandy backpack, so clearly, I’m no stranger to their awesome products. You can definitely find something that suits your T1D’s style on the Myabetic website.
The Diabetic Health Journal by Lauren Bongiorno – Instagram introduced me to Lauren last year, and let me tell you, this girl is a powerhouse. As a diabetic health coach and a fitness guru, she knows what she’s talking about in her journal, which is designed to help people with T1D lower A1c, gain insight on blood sugar patterns, boost mood/energy levels, and so much more. This could make a great gift for a T1D who enjoys writing, or someone who is including diabetes in their New Year’s resolution goals.
Vial Safe Insulin Protector – Alright, this sounds totally boring, but it’s one of the most practical gifts you could get a T1D who might be a little, er, clumsy. I’ve certainly shattered an insulin vial or two back in the day, and it’s a really crummy feeling when all that insulin is wasted. But these protective casings can help your T1D avoid the risk of breaking precious insulin vials, which are infinitely valuable. Look them up on Amazon for more information!

Of course, these are all just some suggestions. If you’re still stumped, I often stumble across amazing products just for T1Ds on Instagram. Who would’ve known that there’s virtually an endless array of goodies for T1Ds out there? With a little research and thoughtfulness, the T1D in your life is bound to be grateful for not just your gift to them, but also for your support in the fight against diabetes.

Disclosure: I am not paid to promote any of these products. The intent of sharing these items is to provide useful information to readers of my blog. Please visit the links I’ve shared to learn more about the products featured in this post.

This Thanksgiving, I’m Thankful for…Diabetes?

November 21, 2018November 15, 2018 mollyt1dLeave a comment

This post originally appeared on my blog at ASweetLife.org on November 26, 2013. It’s hard to believe that I wrote it nearly five years ago, but with Thanksgiving occurring tomorrow, I thought it would be appropriate to revisit it since it captures my feelings about diabetes this time of year. Of course, life has changed quite a bit in the last five years, so I’ve made a couple amendments (below, italicized) to the original…

Each year around Thanksgiving, I think about the things that I am thankful for in life. Some obvious answers come to mind: my parents. My brother, my boyfriend, my dog. The fact that I am able to attend an amazing college. The roof over my head and the food on my plate. The list could go on and on. I’m sure most of my answers are unsurprising.

But is it weird that I’m thankful for diabetes, too?

Don’t get me wrong here. Oftentimes, I resent that I have to deal with the burden that is diabetes on a daily basis. I cry about it, I get angry about it, I curse about it. I wish that it didn’t impact me or my loved ones the way that it does. I’m all too aware, however, that I cannot change the role diabetes plays in my life. All I can do is accept it. When I did that and truly thought about what acceptance means, I began to think of why I might feel blessed in some bizarre way to have diabetes.

For starters, my diabetes has brought me closer to my family. My mom and I are able to relate to each other on a different level because of it. My dad and my brother show concern and unrelenting support for us that might not be the same if Mom and I did not have diabetes.

Sometimes, I think about how even though my diabetes seems to have a mind of its own, it adds a certain degree of control regarding some aspects of my daily life. It helps me get into a routine that is pretty static. It relies on what I choose to feed myself; in this way, it motivates me to make the right choices when it comes to my diet.

tgiving

And it has brought some amazing opportunities my way. Without diabetes, I would not have become president of the UMass Amherst chapter of the College Diabetes Network. I would not have discovered the Children with Diabetes: Friends for Life conference that I attended in Disney this past summer, where I made some awesome friends who keep in touch with me. And I certainly would not have begun blogging for ASweetLife.org. This experience itself has allowed me to get in touch with my feelings regarding diabetes to a greater extent. I have been able to explore my interests as an individual who loves to write. I have the pleasure of speaking with a wider variety of people within the diabetic community and hearing individual stories that I might not have ever heard.

I never would have guessed that a mere five years after writing this post, I’d be writing content for my very own diabetes blog. The creation of Hugging the Cactus is a huge diabetes-related accomplishment itself, but I’m reflecting on other diabetes changes I’ve experienced and how I’m thankful for them…so many come to mind. My OmniPod insulin pump, my improved A1c levels, new friendships formed…I’ve come a long way, and I’m grateful for every single positive experience that diabetes has brought into my life.

That’s why I’m seeing diabetes as something to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. I long for the day where diabetes is cured and I no longer have to think about it. But for now, I want to make the best out of something that could be perceived as the worst.

With all that said…enjoy your Thanksgiving holiday! No matter how you choose to celebrate it, remember that you are loved, you matter, and there’s people in your life who are endlessly thankful for your love and light.

Trick-Or-Treating with Diabetes

October 31, 2018October 30, 2018 mollyt1dLeave a comment

Happy Halloween, boos and ghouls!!!

Halloween is a holiday that most people associate with candy and costumes. Since I have T1D, you might assume that I wasn’t able to partake in haunted happenings as a kiddo. But that’s far from the truth. In fact, I looked forward to Halloween every year just like any other child who enjoyed dressing up, watching It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, and trick-or-treating.

My parents handled trick-or-treating and my diabetes like true pros: They let me enjoy it and take home just as much candy as my older brother each year. We always wound up with fairly large hauls, and the only difference between mine and his is that mine contained a couple extra “diabetes-friendly” goodies, courtesy of my relatives.

I’m glad that they never made me feel different, or like I couldn’t celebrate it in the same way as my brother and other kids my age because of my diabetes. In turn, I bet they were glad that I was always determined to make my candy last as long as possible – they didn’t have to worry about me sneaking extra pieces, unless they were accounted for with a bolus. And we mutually enjoyed that there were plenty of “low snacks” to spare around the house to take care of any hypos that my mom or myself might have. Trust me, treating lows is always much more fun with a good piece of candy, especially if it was a Reese’s cup.

Today, I’m celebrating Halloween by wearing a costume to work and eating pizza with my coworkers. It’s definitely a departure from the Halloweens of my childhood, but no less fun. I figured I’d wrap up this holiday-centric post by remembering the good ole trick-or-treating days with some pictures of my favorite costumes I wore in my “youth”:

0D3D2098-EA15-4018-9981-46EC0817F072 — Circa 1995

The year that I was a nurse, and my brother was the letter “G”. Yes, you read that correctly. I’m fairly certain this Halloween was so memorable because of his unique costume choice, not because it was my first time trick-or-treating.

9E38BBE2-43D0-4859-BAD4-250DC76C0E68 — Lady Liberty

My Statue of Liberty costume – possibly my favorite costume ever! My mom HANDMADE the entire thing, from the giant tinfoil crown to the torch that (she insisted) I kept high in the air the whole time I was trick-or-treating.

5A4D314F-4536-4D19-A33B-99A8AB75F378 — Cowgirl with an attitude

A cowgirl! This picture makes me laugh because it really captures my personality…

72E1DDDA-11DE-404E-9235-05E1C5764B12 — Cinderelly, Cinderelly!

…but then again, so does this one! Cinderella is my absolute favorite Disney princess, so when I got to dress up just like her for one Halloween, it was a dream come true.

049AB91E-FB4F-4412-A7A4-84C5862E558F — It’s leviOsa, not levioSA.

Speaking of magical characters, I loved dressing up as Hermione as an adult! I wore this costume for my first Halloween at my job. It was a hit around the office.

C25AEBB0-4BF7-402A-8622-030AB3A38A00 — She really is a funny girl, that Belle

And that brings us up to last year’s Belle costume. Another Disney princess, another elaborate hairstyle, another fun outfit and character to don for a day.

Whether you indulge on some candy today, wear a costume, or merely go about your business like any other day…make it a great one and may your blood sugars be spooktacular!