There’s no cutesy lead-in to this post…I’m going with a very straightforward statement here:
Diabetes has caused me to have a very weird and strained relationship with food.
How? Oh, let me count the ways…
Diabetes has positively impacted my relationship with food because it has helped me understand the importance of nutrition. I’ve had to learn how carbohydrates, proteins, and fats affect my levels, as well as the role that the glycemic index of foods play into the picture. I’m also grateful that diabetes has caused me to realize there are limits – I can’t mindlessly eat huge quantities of food (though on occasion I do, more on that in a minute). I must measure everything out, and I believe that this forced sense of portion control has helped me maintain a (mostly) healthy weight.
But diabetes has also, absolutely, negatively impacted my relationship with food.
For starters, I can get so fed-up with having to account for every single morsel I consume in a given day – I resent having to take insulin for foods I’d otherwise find enjoyable. Plus, there’s a lot of guilt associated with my regular food consumption. “Should you eat that?” is question I hear not just from others, but from myself as I have to think about whether certain foods are worth not just the calories, but also the amount of insulin that I have to dose for it. And don’t even get me started on how literally unsavory it is to have to eat food when I’m already full but dealing with a low blood sugar…
In a word, my relationship with food is complicated…and I don’t hesitate to blame my diabetes for that. Don’t get me wrong: At the end of the day, I loooooooove food. Really, there’s very few things that I don’t (or won’t) eat or at least try. I enjoy consuming a large variety of foods and I like to eat veggies almost as much as I like eating chocolate (that may be a bit of a stretch, but I think you get my point).
It’s just unfortunate that my diabetes forces me to overthink every food choice that I make. So I’m that much more hopeful for the day which I can eat food without having to think twice about it, without having to feel guilt, shame, doubt, anger, sadness…nothing but pure enjoyment.
Hugging the Cactus 
I’ll never get tired of telling the story of the battle between the dietician my doctor when I first became a diabetic last century. lol Boy do I feel old now. She said I could have a whole piece of cake with no frosting. He said he had never heard of a kid eating cake without frosting. He said to have a half piece with frosting. lol After weeks of a back and forth argument, I decided to take the matter into my own hands. At only 8 years old I made a compromise, a whole piece with frosting. Been that way ever since.
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Symbolizing my battle with food is my desire to someday have a peanut butter parfait at DQ in my area. they were introduced one month after I was dx’d. I refuse to have one until one of two things happen. 1. I am given the cure (whatever that might be) or 2. I am on my death bed. So far neater have happened, but I have hope, the race is underway.
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My mother and I have always said that about cinnamon rolls from Cinnabon – the day we are cured, we will get the largest ones they’ve got and enjoy the heck out of them!
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Hey molly we can meet at a giant mall food court, suck down 3 peanut buster parfaits and thee Cinnabon’s. Damn, we might even want to get some chocolate pie, a big piece of coconut cream pie and some air sickness bags. Hoo Haw, iI bet we could raise a few thousand to join us.
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Whew! Sounds like a feat…but I am game!!!
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[…] for instance, this blog post I wrote three years ago in which I wrote about my strange, strained relationship with food. I […]
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